Running

Heyyy whatssup?
Today I feel low and down, I really have no idea why...dammit.... I just feel lost and I have no idea what to do next..
This emptiness in me now needs blood for replacement...I think. That's the only way I can be myself again. Some people do it to be alive.. y'all have to understand. We're not trying to kill or hurt ourselves.. but honestly, that's the only way. It'll leave ugly scars, but, this time, everything is just ugly.
Breaking down to let go is never enough... while I'm typing these, I nearly into tears. Why? I don't know either. I bet it's not only me feeling this way tonight, but others too. I'm not encouraging, but this is the reality. We are just feeling empty.

I hope to feel better after blogging these, rather than telling people what I'm feeling right now personally or in statuses in Facebook or in Twitter. They might call me attention seeker or....I don't know......  If I wanna share my problems with my friends, but, I don't trust them to actually understand my situation...to understand me. I don't need their sympathy...that's just stupid and weak!! Gawddd... I'm just so confuse. Watssup with me? I really, really have no clue.

Last few days I feel so great and thought I'd grown stronger. I never thought I'll ever feel this low again, honestly. I just hate and hate and hate everything! I'd learnt to learn how to turn my sadness into anger, which I thought it might help cause these few days I really feel great. Since, anger could fade away easily, but this case, it's never the same. This anger just grows... fuck it!

I hate the friend that lied to me! I hate the friend that left me!
I hate myself for being such a weak shit! I hate myself for never being good enough!
I hate myself for being myself and everyone just hates me!
I hate the reality that I'll have to wake up from these nightmares!
I hate all these shits!! They're just rubbish!! EVERYTHING IS JUST RUBBISH!

And one good thing when I'm feeling down is, you can ask me to do whatever you need me to. I would just do it without any complain or questions. I don't even care to give a damn if it's right or wrong cause I'm not thinking. When my parents asked me to finish my chores, I'll do it without any complain, when I'm like how I am now. but in normal days, I'm just a rebellious daughter.

If I'm or we (people who's like me) feeling lost and empty, we have a cure...that is....what it is. Sometimes, when we're quite sober, there will be hesitation whether we're gonna do it or not. I swear, we never wanna hurt ourselves. We'd tried to think the happy things that come, but if the anger or sadness wins, we know what to do...
I never wanna disappoint my parents for being such a problematic daughter. I'd tried to stay focus and strong, sometimes we can't stand up once we fall...I know you know it.

I'm just typing what I'm feeling... not even thinking. To my friends that read this blog, I really, really hope that you would treat me like you used to.. Just forget what you've read. And I'm sorry that I've failed to be a good friend to you.

The war that lasts

Hi! I just wanna stop by, to share a video. And also my opinion, since it's all over the news. Worldwide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGQ43wL4Wxo

After watching this video, I hope you viewers open your mind.

What did these innocent people do, to deserve this? I began to understand and see the reasons, that war CAN be avoided. Last month, I've written an essay on 'Can war be avoided?' and I my opinion was 'no', but now I think war may be avoided. How? Working hard. It's just the matter of people (of Israel)  knowledge about the loss of innocent people in Gaza's life, the loss of of respect to each other, and perhaps the loss of pride. This creates prejudice. I believe not everyone in Israel is as evil as what it seemed in the video. I believe a lot of them wanna stop all those killing or bombing.

In Gaza, the kids still have a long journey to go. Everyday, they are living in fear. No parents to comfort and protect them, no families to stay beside them and no one will be there to save their soul.

Blood flowed from head to toes.
Tears they cry, dried out.
Wounds will remain as scars.
Their screams left unheard.
Hatred kept in heart till the end.

These cases aren't things what happened in Haiti, where all of us could help by donating our belongings with all our heart. Or anything like what happened in Africa, where medical supplies are available. It is also nothing like global warming.
But this, ain't a life for donation, ain't a life for replacement. Once it's gone, it's gone forever....
If only forever never exist....
Singers made songs about stopping war and movies about the evil war were made...hoping that the world may change, but some people are too arrogant to understand their indirect message..

Imagine;
Souls running around back and forth every single day,
Repeating the process again and again,
Trapped in the war zone.
Some of them didn't even know that they're gone,
Keep searching for help,
Keep searching for love...
Some dies without their love ones by their side...

Have you ever stop for a second and think of the reasons why most of the countries, worldwide are at peace state from centuries ago?
The answers are everywhere. From the sky to the ground that we're standing. 

I apologise if anything I said here offend you guys. It's never on purpose. I just wanna give out my opinion on some things.....like these.

The house where I used to live

Hi readers! ^^ I would just wanna thank you all, especially my friends, for 'supporting' my lame stories and shits...hoho!! If you were wondering whether my stories...I mean, 'non-fiction' stories are real or not... cause, I know, for example, yesterday I wrote a sad and hateful story of what's happening. Then, the next day, I'm all different and high.

Yes, they are true. But, it's up to you to believe or not... I'm all different after a good night sleep.....cause I kept telling myself that;

 " this is a new day, and don't let anyone or anything to bring me down"

Oh, lemme just get straight to my point where the title is all about~ =p

One dayyyy~ It was Sundayy~ ok, whatever..

My mum brought me and mah sis to the city for some...I don't know...

My cousin is gonna marry soon and so, we went to his future wife's house and discuss whatever it is...and then, my mum drove us to somewhere very familiar...

At first, my sis and I thought it was our uncle's house...but then, the deeper we went, the weirder it seemed.. after that my mum just stopped there..

" where the hell is this? "

" It's our second house "

Yeahh...it was our second rent-house. We haven't had a house yet....until now. This is why my FU relatives...some....looked down on us, my family. But I would like to fuckin' thank them, as they indirectly fuckin' motivated me on my studies. On the other hand, the pressure is unbearable.

I remember, when I was still in primary school...I asked my mum, when will we have our own home....

" Maybe when you reached primary 6 or when you get into middle school "

But......now I'm in college...already =) I've been waitingggg....and waitingggggggg.....and waiting....for 7 years. No, no, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate what I have now....or what I have today. But living in a house where no one really appreciates you...haha! it's tough.

Yesterday, my parents talked about the fucking rumors that is happening right now during dinner time....and voices get louder and louder.  Luckily, it was twisted into jokes...*pheww

Oh gawddd! I'm off the topic again.... Every time, when we head to the city, I would ask my mum to show me our 2nd house is...but it was too far away...and my lazy mum is lazy -.-" hahaha!

And yeah, I remembered that, that house used to be clean and beautiful... There's a big garden with green grasses everywhere we turn. Mah sis and I used to run around, picking flowers, catching birds or play with whatever we grabbed... When it's night time, me and my family would go out for a walk, and there'll always be bats flying around the light pole. And when it's time to sleep, I would always run to my parents room with all my pillows and blankets I'd hugged, cause I was afraid of ghosts..

We had a neighbour.... her name is Emily. She's somewhere from the western.

At that time, she was about mah sis's age. Her parents were very welcoming and lovely. My sis and I always play with her in the house...building sandcastle, play dolls, jump around and all. Her dad had this cool camera where he always record 3 of us playing together.

I hope to see her again... but if I do, I wonder does she remember anything we had years back then..haha! cause she was tiny...

I've forgotten her face, but I know her name =)

So, all those lovely memories I still have with me, turned upside down after I saw what'd happened to that house where I used to live. The garden......the walls of the house.....are all deadly and looking stupid!! Wild and dirty ugly trees grew there... The house is all messed up..covered with fuckin' dirty black dirt. The gates are all destroyed. I was angry and upset....really. The place that I used to know, is now different. haha! I guessed I've forgotten that time flies damn fast..

I didn't take any pictures of the house, cause I was shocked, speechless and numb to move a muscle...

Here I am. Writing anything I could remember, cause I know maybe one day I would forget these happy memories I once had..  So, yeah..that's all! ^^ Thank you for reading! Jaja

PTET expo - fun!

Heyyy guys! whatssup? =)

Today (17/11/12) is the day that I've looked forward since days agooooo... it took ages for you to wait something that you're waiting for.....the ferk am I saying? -.-"
We....the other colleges are doing their expo in the city...but us, PTET....at town -.- *fail
Anyway, It was lots of funnnnnnnn!!

One of my friend (Viv) and I, were shift 1 ...that is from 8am to 11am...(3 hours)
Shift 2, is from 11am to 2pm....(3 hours)
And shift 3, is from 2pm to 5pm.....(3 horus)
But both of us stay till shift 3....yeahhh... 9 freaking hours mahn! T.T

We, ptetians, sold a lot of things....
There were, arts (painting and sketching), handicraft or recycled stuff (bottles to vase, cloth to ribbons, pieces of paper to bookmarks), food (sandwish, sushi and mini choc cupcakes), Henna (whatever the sp is), maths puzzels ( eggs, matchbox and ermm..something2 origami).....oh! and also foot massage~ ohh yeah~
These pictures are taken by my friend, Jessie.

I handled the food section....with Viv...
1 box mini cupcakes ( 4 pieces) - $1
1 box sushi (6 pieces) - $6.........................wait, what?! o.O yeah, I know...I'd told her to change, but she refused...*sigh* I knew that no one's gonna buy....until an ex-smsb teacher...who is my ex-math teacher when I was in high school...bought it...and he's the first and the last....during shift 1.... -.-" She compared what she'd done to escapade.....and I advised her and 'lecture' her...cause, c'mon, we're no where near those professionals.... the mini cupcakes...there's around 2 customers that bought them... =)
Those maths puzzels, only the 'eggs' ( where we have to.........arrange to form an egg? A correct one of 
course)
The handicraft thingy and recycled thingy were handled by a couple of my good friends, like Liy and Naz...And they were interviewed! x) gawddd! they're so brave to talk in front of the camera, without script. If I was one of them, I.....................would be happy......................with script on my hands....ok, whatever hahaha! Oh, it was 8pm, a couple of hours ago, in the Brunei news, I was soooo thrilled to watch the news, because of them....well, yeahh...3 hours of standing there....and the TV interview that the news showed, were like 3 minutes -.-" I mean, seriously...but one of our art students was in the TV....too bad I have no idea who she is....buhuhu~

Our promotion

It was until shift 2, Viv decided to change plan....that is;
1 box of sushi ( 18 pieces) - $5
and yeahh, I totally agreed with that..I mean, that worth...the box was full and all... the products or food, were sold in a rate of 0.0000005 per second. Nahhh...just kidding...It was just okeyyy... 
The 'massage team' has arrived, and that's when foot massage it available....but no one brought the stuff...sooooo.....we were scold by miss. LALALALALALALALALALALALA...huh... we were rushing to go to the town to sell our products, cause we're LATEEE! and we have to find the other students that didn't show up..... I don't really understand what happened...but we all got blamed...esp Viv...haha! She was sooo pissed off...all bad words just flow~~~~~~ like this..~~~~~~ haha!
I swear, I sweated like a waterfall............gawdddd! It was crowded and hot! and sticky with this darn school uniform...fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... oh, and then Me, Viv and Mas went to Jolibee and have our brunch~
Oh, my best friends, Mij and Fifat, were there too! They're under foot massage.... We took pictures,walk back and forth promoting our products.....and then, the miss. foot massage (Mij)'s leg got cramp...and she's like taller and tough-looking girl...put her weight on me, and I have to support her....meao.. -.-" I'm just.........nevermind~ not gonna say mah height~
And Vivien and I continued to stay till shift 3.....Mij and Fifat went home...I mean back to school....

So, the shift 3 students came....We told them what to do...we stayed till shift 3, it's all because there'll only be 9 students....while shift 1 and 2.... 15 students.. and no one will handle the food section, so yeahh B)
Our friends, Khai and Fareed was sooooo much fun! We told them to promo the food and asked them to bring back 10 customers...neh, at least 3 customers....and darn it! They did it! Hahaha! We were just joking...
Then, we decided to change plan again...
1box ( 4 sushi + 4 cupcakes) - $3

and very last minute tuna sandwish were added into the list....
1 box (4 pieces of bread) - $2
 so, yeah, instead of just standing there...cause the seats were limited, I've decided to join them....
We wander around....and round.....and round............and......aim! There! A customer bought our food....there are secrets actually~

" ohhh! Hi teacher! Do you wanna buy these? This one is sushi, and the other one is just cupcakes! Or do you want 2 in 1 (cupcakes + sushi)? This is actually $6, but it's because you're a teacher, we decided to give you only $5 ( it's actually $5 -.-)"

" Hi! Do you wanna buy this? It's sushi...it's a healthy food. It's actually $6, but for you, we'll just give you $5... you can give your kids~"

" Hi teacher, do you wanna buy these? It's offered! If you buy 1, it'll be $3, and if 2, $6~"

" How about this? We just made it...it's nice"

HAHAAHAH!! darnn.....so cute! They're just funny. How I wish I could be as creative as them! x'3
I'm glad to have friends like them...
But then, after a few rounds, we all got tireddddddddddddd....but me and Viv don't wanna give up....until all the products were sold out...
And the $3 sushi + cupcakes were sold out! x)

The $5 sushi and $2 sandwish...there's still a few boxes left... so, Viv and I invited Riz to join us.. I love him, he's just a cutie! 

Riz

So, he shouted like selling fish in the fish market...gawd...that's embarrassing...and then, Erw joined us...he's promoting his foot massage~
Yeah, we sold quite a lot~
And the foot massage, it was quite a service! =)
8 minutes - $3

Oh, we walked from booth to booth. HAHA! and then, we came to a school named 'Ripas'.. WE. WERE. COMPETING. WITH. THEMMMMMMMM.... their booth the few feet away from ours. We offered them our products, and we have to buy their products in return. Erw and one of the student (girl) were competing...and it's like you're able to see the lightning and thunder between them..hahah! kiddin' =p but yeah, I'm not kidding....wth? The students were not bad....I mean in term of attitude..and.... =p the guys are good looking...and the girls.........................hey! I'm straight! =p but yeah, they're just juniors... but at last., we won't the battleeeeeeeee! A big thanks to Erw! hoho!!

So, it was until..........around 45 minutes before 5pm..... we passed by Jolibee. And Viv was talking and asking me stuff...which I can't remember what they were, cause I saw HIM~ ='3
He was at the corner, in Jolibee, ready to stand up and leave, and I think it's him....that look, that hair, those eyes....that's HIM.... it should be him...
Even though, if it's not, I don't care~ I just wanna see HIM...or maybe just someone that looked like him, which could give the impression of HIM...muahahahah! I'm just happy now =') But I know this happiness won't last long, but who cares? I'm enjoying it right now x')
It was around 3 seconds...until a stupid, fat, big asshole wall ( a real wall..not a person -.-" ) BLOCKED MY VIEW T.T and I can't see him no more T.T...
I kept turning around, but Viv kept talking to me and I don't want them to suspect something...so, yeahh...byebye ='( I hope to see HIM again....and I hope to talk to him again...blahhhh~

And finally, we reached our booth. I went blank for a few seconds, cause my mind kept playing the scene where I saw 'HIM' before the wall block my view! -.-" sad ending~~~
Anw, we counted the $$$$ 'chaching chaching' and we made quite a lot.... 70% comes to us (there's 6 of us) and 30% goes to the school.....

Packing...packing....packing.....Imma wanna go home soooo bad! Wanna 'rest', but then I'm here updating my blog~~
Overall, today, I'm happy! Just happy! =) Thanks to all my friends...
but, in the morning, I was rushing too...cause I was suppose to wake up at 5.45am...my alarm rang... " 5 more minutes... 5 more minute" Then, suddenly, my dad came into my room and wake me and mah sis up...I looked at the clock, and it was 6.15am....WTFFFFFFFFFFF?!?! how could the 5 minutes be so fast? o.O 

Dear 5 minutes,
Just be 5 minutes. And now half and hour when my dad wakes me up next time. xoxo
                                                                                                                              sincerely, Van.

And every school time, I follow my friend's car, and recess time, she'll be following my car~ nehh...my mum's car....to be specific =p it's always 6.45am, she.....I mean her dad picks me up..but sometimes...it's earlier than usual... at that time, I was having my breakfast...and the bread was full in mah mouth, when her car came....I kinda stuff everything into my mouth...poor mehhh 3= yeah, I know...Then, my dad scold me -.-"

" You took 10 minutes to iron your cloth!"
" Nooo..@&@*@(" <----can't talk properly
" Who says no?! "
" I di.....did &@*@ not!! " <----still can't talk properly

but yeahh...whateveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer....................................................................
Anyway, my friends are awesome! But not as awesome as meh =p so, yeahhh...today is a great day! =)


Oh btw, there were 2 beautiful butterflies yesterday... a big one and a tiny one... and I guess, it's my grandma and my brother =') I do love them..and miss them... I'm too lazy to upload their butterflies form photo..hehe!

So, I hope you, readers are having fun reading my long stories..... 3 in 1 story ^^ Thank you y'all!

me and myself

" Heyyy guys! I was bored and suddenly this idea came into my mind. Why don't we compete in maths and mech? The bottom 3 will be punished "

And yeahh...that's what I said to my friends...I mean my group...
What I meant, what I really meant is, c'mon lets compete...so everyone will not wanna be the bottom 3. So, everyone will fight and work hard to not be the bottom 3. I was TRYING TO FUCKIN' MOTIVATE EVERYONE! THAT WAS MY INTENTION, but then, my idea of motivating my friends turned into misunderstanding and insult.
I really do not get it... until today I don't. This happened just yesterday...and I thought a good night sleep would change everything...would change my mood. But no, I'm still confused and wondering, what did I do wrong? I really don't know which part of my sentences above hurt... and yeah, 'punished' isn't that obviously to motivated my friends? Like who wants to get punished? No one! So work hard! And the punishments aren't like to be thrown into the fuckin' cell or being executed or being kicked out from the group... It's just, it will be something fun to do.

I've done this with my friends last year...or is it last 2 years... and there's no problem! We're not from the same class...., but everyone's fine....we're playing along. I couldn't remember if I still have the paper with me..................................................
Oh yeahh....I found it! It was in the box where I keep everything I had with my friends =) and all of us were having fun! I remember, one of my friend who joined this game.....she didn't fail the Religion subject ...well....she always fails that subject. And there will be punishments if she fails again...but, no, she didn't. And I'm glad this is a motivation to her =)
Oh I just remember, I'm not with my friends that I had last year.. Now, I have new friends...now is a different school...different personality haha! can't bring back what I had years before.. =')

I never, never, never see my friends as weak. NEVER! But yeah, one of my group members was offended. And we updated statuses, insulting each other. Then, I'd stopped...cause I don't want anything to get worse. Plus, he talked about my 'best friend' that talked shits behind me. and you know what? If she really wants me to fuckin' change my fuckin' attitude, she could just say it to my face, not behind me =) If YOU don't understand my intention, talk to me, not comment on the post where everyone would read and this might involved everyone!

" whatever bitch, I have no time for craps "
" Just say it, I'll listen =) "
" ohh..wait, lemme take some notes =D "
" All the matters is, God knows my reasons. I wouldn't give a damn what others think. People say and fight for what they think is true, without knowing the truth "
" Not a single fuck will be given "
" I'll let you say whatever you want. This time, I won't try to make things right. Cause everything I say is wrong, so what for? ^^ "
" woootever yew saaaayyy~ ^^ "
So, yeahhh...that's what I'd updated as my statuses... I'll just take a step back =)


" So are you gonna tell anyone? Awww how 'mature' of you~ Tell you mommy too okey? ^^ "
" Someone is pissing off... Bitch c'mon, compare to what they feel, you should feel stupid, k? .l. "
" Look around you before you even start saying anything... Understand the situation k? "
" Owhhh... take note! 2x2=4, 2x1=0, 2x1=0 <----amount of f*** given..."
" Yeahh... I have problem calculating =3 "
" You can spot the irony of your own word right? "
" Haha.....look whos talking. Pissing you off~ xD "
" Isn't it the same as your bestfriend's intention for you? Someone is trying to change your harsh and cynical ways, okay? "
So, yeahhh...that's what he said...


I always update my Facebook or Twitter status about how I feel, cause I really feel better doing it, instead of telling my friends or my parents about how I feel... but then, hahaha! thank you mahn! thanks a lot!!

When I thought I'm okey, and I managed to walk out of my dark world, there will always someone try to bring me down. And one of the reason why I never tell anyone how I feel, because....THIS IS THE REASON!!!!
There will always be someone that claimed that they understand me, but then...hahaha! Shits happen. This is not the first time.....so, that's why instead of explaining and make things right, I'll just shut up. No one will listen. No one will ask. I'm already used to it. If I'm misunderstood, I'll just let it be. I wouldn't even try to make things right. Cause there's this term called Tired.

People will always try hard to bring you down. They'll never care how will you feel after wards. Me, I've hurt a lot of people, and I'm not gonna be the old me again... who will always say untrue shits just to make someone to feel bad about themselves and find revenge.... I've grown up a lil bit and started to learn that when someone's mad at you or they hate you, they will always try to bring you down. WILL ALWAYS! But I do not wanna do the same.. =)

Well, 
thank you for making me feel bad about myself,
thank you for making me feel bad about my existence,
thank you for bring up all those shits,
thank you for 'understanding' me,
thank you for claiming untrue things,
thank you for hurting me,
thank you for letting me to hurt myself
thank you for being an honest friend.... =)

If everything I say hurts a lot, you'll see the changes soon...
Yes, I admit, I hurt people with my words sometimes...or every time....unconsciously...but it's all because if you made me mad....it just happens...and only my dad knows why. I broke down when he told me about myself....I broke down cause he knows me well...
Yes, I admit, I'm rude and harsh sometimes......that's why when I was younger...in primary school, I hung out with my guys friends, cause I just couldn't fit in with the girls...they're just so sensitive and scream queen...gawdd...

Anything to add? ohh yeah, I do not blame anyone here, really.....cause yes, it's me...I'm a bad influence, a bad friend, an attention seeker, a freak, a fake, a bitch.......haha!
I wouldn't mind people calling me so, cause why would I waste my time trying to be whatever you want me to be? why would I try to change, when I'm glad I found myself? Why would I care about judgement, when all you know is my face? Why would I cry for those, when you never try to walk under my skin?

And my final point is, I won't change! Sorry =)
" Don't like me for who I am? Then, don't like me for who I am. And all you can get is who I am " - Avril Lavigne...

" You want me to change, but all I feel is strange " -Bill Kaulitz

But no worries, I will try to improve myself.... when any of you had improved yourselves. Simple =)
I'm sorry if I've offended any of you readers, I'm just saying my heart out..... I type a lot, I don't talk much... I love sharing my problems with people I don't know, rather than people that I know....or people I thought I knew...

Bully (1) - STOP IT

Hi readers from north, east, south and west!! I've just randomly clicked a link and saw this page / blog.... It's sad....and it's all about bullying...
I mean I never really experience me being bullied or my school mates being seriously bullied... I'm living in Brunei... A small, safe country with a population of less than 500,000. But I've gone through discrimination and being criticize...and it sucks. I know being bullied is far more worse...

While I'm typing these;
somewhere unknown, there are;
kids that are crying right now,
kids that are hurting themselves,
kids that are feeling invisible,
kids that are trying to end their life...

Bullied children....in term of 'cyber bullying' or ' high school bullying ', they are emotionally and physically in pain... unnoticed parents might believe their excuses like;

" ohh..it's okey, I tripped and fell from the stairs just now " - in fact, the bullies pushed the victim down the fuckin' stairs.

" I've been playing with my friends " - in fact, the wound and the ripped t-shirt of theirs were attacked by the bullies.

" I don't feel like going to school, I think I'm sick " - in fact, they're feeling more than that.

http://drtedzeff.com/news/warningsigns.php

Read that.

The victims are screaming in silence, and hoped that any of you would hear it... so DO NOT ignore them when you heard them. Help them BEFORE it's too late. You might be afraid that you'll be in danger too, so don't do it alone, bring some real friends of yours to stand up with you. You are not alone, I bet there's some people do feel the same way...they wanna help, but took a step back cause they're afraid. But what if you stand out of the line first? They will do the same. Be their LEADER.

Parents should be aware of what's happening to their children. Your children TRUST you. They NEED you. and they expect you to UNDERSTAND what they're going through. And also expect you to KNOW their lies. Your child is not a creature that you gave birth and just let them to do whatever they need to, even when it comes to security or protections... 

http://www.oddee.com/item_98356.aspx?utm_source=knowd.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=8-most-shocking-bullying-stories

There are different stories in that link...
You'll be the victim, if you're ugly...
You'll be the victim, if you're pretty...
You'll be the victim, if you're rich...
You'll be the victim, if you're poor...

I seriously do not get it! What's so good about bullying? I was fuckin' mad when I was watching the video. I swear I was angry and upset!! He or she (the bullies) might be just a high school kid...but, YOUR PARENTS NEVER TEACH YOU ABOUT SELF-RESPECT!
USELESS PARENTS PRODUCE USELESS CHILDREN!
Why? If you're a bully, lemme ask you this. Whatsup? Are you mad when I say it that way? What makes you feel so? See, you do have a heart. You're just not doing the right thing. You're just trying to fit in. You just wanna be cool. Stop it.
Is there something to be proud of when you see someone in pain? If there is, tell me, what shits are they?

Both of you are the same.
Made from flesh and blood.
A heart.
Under the same sky.
Breathe the same air.
Stand on the same ground.
Believe in the same God.
Run the same track.
We're human.

I'm proud that Lady Gaga started to stand up for the bullied kids. I love her because of this! =)
And I hope one day, I will help those kids...and what I'm doing now might not help much. But this is my very first step ^^

Maggots!!

Okeyyyyyyyyy...guess what? =3
I DRANK MAGGOT JUICE!! I mean what the fuck?!?! %@%@&@*(*!@!!!
I can't believe it myself either!!

There's ths so-called orange tree (yeah, only one tree...) that my mum plant in out house mini garden, and made juice out of the oranges...

And I was studying my Biology, because I will be having Bio exam on Monday...(I have 11 topics to read, but I've read 4 topics....yet....)
*knock knock* soooo, there she comes...my mum... entering my room with the 'oh-look-and-I've-made-this-looks' with the orange juice in a MUG....not a cup, but a damn MUG!
So yeah, it's cold and lovely...so I drank it, like a boss B) since I love it too!

I didn't drink it sip by sip....but..... just like a boss -.-"

And after a few minutes, I saw my hair-that-fell-off stick to the water droplets on the cup and was disgusted...
But I didn't know what really disgust me..........until I looked into that ^@%@!^*&@& MUG! gawdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!! There's maggots (around 3mm long)! There was 2! One was dead, but the another one was happily swimming~~ -.-"

Then, I ran out of my room, and told my mum and sister about it...........
They looked at it...and then............
My sis looked at her mug too...and there was 12 swimming maggots....( yeah, I counted -.-)
WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK?!?!
She said she thought they're pollen or stuff like that, so she drank slowlyyyyyyyyyyy.....

I'm traumatized now!!!!!

Imagine how much gallon I drank till there's only 2 maggots left in my mug T.T
I'm quite emotional now, cause I'm disgusted!!
Hope the maggots won't eat me alive!
Hope the maggots won't eat my brain!
Hope my stomach hydrochloric acids will kill them!
Hope I won't be going to the hospital!

Yadayadayadaaaa.... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
If I die, I don't wanna die because I'm eaten my maggots!!