I don't deserve

Today, we ( CT-ians) celebrated Venus's birthday... It's an advance birthday actually. Since tomorrow is Friday... not only that, we also celebrate Ada's birthday.. her birthday is suppose to be in November. But she'll be in Hawaii...so yeahh..

And as I said, I will not be there with them today...this is all because of Venus..hahaha! I just don't think I deserve to be there... I planned most of the things, I mean supervise on how are we gonna surprise her and also Ada.. It goes like this;

Venus loves to use people's stationery, so, all of us buy a stationery for her (there are 17 of us, excluding her), for example; pens, scissors, pencil lead, post-it-note and all.... This is for fun only. Haha!!
And the theme is : PURPLE

Oh, and Ada doesn't know that we're gonna surprise her too~ We have to be quick cause Ada is going to somewhere.....somewhere real soon >~<

Back to the point. The plan is 2 of my friends will bring her to the library (but failed) and turned out that she needed to pass up a GP paper. She and Mijah were scolded by teacher and yadayadayadaaaa... At the same time, Arnold and Adrian will rush to the canteen to take the cake. And they will have to be in the class L6-9 before all of us come back down from out teacher's staffroom. Yay!! They succeed to do so! x) Then, we'd prepared around 10 questions for her to answer (during our Personal Studies) and we'd cut paper into a box and threw all the presents (stationery) into the box - this is to buy time, for me and some of my friends to prepare the cake in L6-9.

So, while we were preparing the cake, laughter was heard for Venus, which is a good sign..*I guess...before that, I'd invited some of my friends, so sing birthday song to Ada and Venus. So, after everything was done....with all the candles lighted up and everyone's prepared to go out of the room.....with Mijah and Fifat holding the cake, and my friends behind.....
"Happy birthday to you....Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Venus.....and Ada (sang by Vivien only -.-) Happy birthday to you"

I was still in the classroom......I was just disappointed and I don't think I deserve to be there...so yeah ^^ I could only sing to her with my heart...
After a few seconds, I went out like nothing happened....I'm a good actress alright...
Yes, as I said, I wouldn't wanna be there at all...but then, I decided to forgive myself a lil bit....cause I don't wanna my friends to be suspicious...so I'll just pretend that nothing had happened on 24th July... I did this for them, not me....
Maybe, for you, it's just a lil thing and I need to grow up and learn to get over it... It's never that easy yaw! It's never as easy as your words... I'm not you, and don't expect me to be you. That may be just a little thing, but that little thing hurts me a little, and killed me a little...
Plus, in the 10-ish questions, one of the question is : when do Van, Mijah, Fifat (and you) become best friend?

So yeah, I'm happy that it went damn well! Even though there's a lil bit ruined cause Arnold kept let words slipped from his mouth... -.-"
Yesterday, he said " oh, later I'll buy the cake and ruler" in front of Venus during lunch time... and just now, he did say something bout the cake...but I can't remember what it was....

And so, Happy Advance Birthday, Venus! I wish you good luck in anything you're doing! I hope you're happy with what you have! ^^