A short update

 Hi guys! How's everyone?
Anyway, I would like to wish you all Happy New Year............for tomorrow!! Enjoy 31/12 with all you families and friends!

I'm seriously sick right now.. it's been a week since I was in Malaysia having fun.... and then, I got this when I got back to Brunei -.-" duhhh... Fever, sore throat, coughing like crazy, mucus-ish nose HAHA! When I thought I'm fine and could start eating junk food, my whole body heat up again...
My mum and my sister are discriminating me... poor me~

I've eaten too much when I was having fun at Malaysia..here..lemme share with you guys...

FOOD.....

Ipoh's famous curry-in-bread

FOOOOD....

vege

FOOOOD~

yam with.....idk

FOOODD~

yummie fish....sweet and sour

FROGGG~

Bullfrog porridge..... Yes, it's nice.
yes, I love it! No, it's not disgusting!

 FOOD!

eel? o.O

 MY FAV!!

Bean curd...gawddd! I miss it

 I HATE THIS!!!

vege.....kangkong..is it? i hate vege

BEEER...

I sweetly rejected it when my uncle gave it to me..
but the next day..hmmm....I was a lil bit drunk.
Damn!

 NOODLESSS

kolo mee

 FOOD~

my Kuching laska.... I don't really like it
Taste weird -.-"

 STILL FOOOOD

noodles

FRUITSSS...

bought durians here

CAT~

I made a friend!!

 HUMAN!!!

A random person sleeping on the bus station's chair~
I feel bad doing this..but, yeah -.-"

FOODDD!!

Does this look big and delicious to you? I know right..
It's actually only 6 inches and normal -.-"

 CHEEZEE~

Don't judge food by it's picture...
the hell I'm talking....

 FOOOD!

yaaay!

 WOOOOT...

Lovely, are they?

 WEEEE!!

Pizza!!! I'd forgotten it's name -.-

 YUMMMMM....

same goes to here...

 PLAIN NOODLE..

This is what I'd eaten when I was sick.... -.-"
not that colourful....

 JUICEEE!! I mean...WATER!

my friend when I was sick..and is still sick...

So yeahh.. I guess that's all! And I really hope that next year, that is tomorrow ( you don't say~) will be a good start for every and each of us!
I'm gonna stay up late, like I always do every 1 January!
Chaw!!

Is the world gonna end in 21/12/2012?

Dear readers,

Is the world gonna end in 21/12/2012?

Woahhh..and yeah, that was and is a very big question for everyone. Old and young.

Stop thinking. Stop questioning. Stop wondering.

Stop looking at the clock.

We're just humans.

Me, I have no freaking idea what is going on and what will happen, cause i only believe in God. But lemme tell you what my opinions are.  If God's make it happen, it'll happen, we're just gonna prepare for it.

Will it really happen?

What time will it happen?

Where will it happen first?

How is it gonna happen?

My answer is: only God knows

Some people just joke about it, cause they're afraid if it's true.

Some people believe it, cause they know it's true.

Some people, like me, kinda believe it and also not, cause we're just preparing.

But whatever it is, I think it's better to spend your time and also give your best to your love ones. Don't take things for granted. It won't give you any loss, only memorable memories on 21/12/2012. Everyone will remember what they'd done on that day.

These are just my opinions though. I have no freaking right to convince any of you if it's true or not.

If this world is really not gonna end, who are we to laugh at the ones that believed it? but perhaps when we woke up another day, you're not you anymore... I'm just saying...

So yeah, that's all! ^^ Lots of love~

VanL's going random

Hi readers! I'm bored and yeah, I just wanna share weird facts about me. I hope you guys will understand me better? I guess?

Weird fact or just facts 'bout me:
1) I love to wear red.
2) I Have 2 toothbrushes and also 2 blankets
3) I'm short, but I like tall guys..wooot! -.-"
4) I hate my smile, especially my dimples
5) People see me as an ego, arrogant and cool person
6) Behind the scene, I'm all crazy
7) I never dye my hair
8) I love beer
9) I'm not an out-going person
10) I never sleepover in my friends' house
11) I hate my height
12) I laugh more than I talk
13) When I started to laugh, it's almost impossible for me to stop
14) I love my dog, SyaSya
15) I can be friends with almost everyone.. I don't choose friends
16) I used to play a lil bit of guitar and keyboard... now I'm just too lazy
17) I sing....especially after shower, in my room
18) I know I'm right/wrong, when I think I'm right/wrong
19) I'm addicted to junk food
20) My dream is to have a band and be the lead singer
21) I sleep a lot..lame....
22) I cut my own hair..when I'm stress
23) I always paint my nails at least 3 different colours
24) I don't really read Fiction books.....
25) My pillows are always all over the floor...........when I woke up....

So yeah, I guess that's all.......and now I'm watching The Amazing Race... duhh... I have an appointment tomorrow, Goodnight!

I'm letting you free..so fly...

Damn... when I thought I've moved on and could start anew..
Everyday I wake up, he's still on my mind... still thinking what I'd done wrong till he kept avoiding me...till he hated me like hell...
Removed me from his life and history... I've been waiting..and waiting for him for two and a half years.. I know I needed to let go, cause it's me, and I'll be the one that suffered..

My friends told me, advised me to let go and move on...but they don't understand that it's not the same.
Yeah, I'd secretly fallen to a lot of guys...shed my tears for them, cause all those guys that I'd fallen for are not meant to be....unknowingly, walked out of my life. But then, I'd forgotten them..

But him, I don't know why....I was an insecure person. And then I met him, and finally opened up to him. Just for him. He then, leave without a word. I don't know what I'd done wrong... Yes, it's been 2 and a half fuckin' years...I'm still wondering. I've shed my tears for him. I've bleed... my heart's bleeding. If only any of you could really understand...

My real good friends are really trying to help me.. but they'd helped me half way, and then, left too...cause they couldn't stand me.. haha! sorry, I never mean it...

Him, he drew me a picture of himself.. I remember, he asked me to choose between the necklace that he's wearing and a picture that he'll draw.. and so I've chosen the picture...which I still keep till today..
I remember, we had a lot in common and then became best friends, I'd claimed him first. Then, he told me that actually he wanted to say the same thing, but face to face, cause that will be more meaningful. I remember, how he'll always there when I needed him. I remember, when he asked me to hang out with him and our friends, but I refused. I still remember where we seated in that restaurant, he played with my phone and drink. I remember, we used to chat till one or two in the morning. I remember, how his jokes always made me laugh to myself whenever I'm lonely. I remember, how we childishly invited each other into our own dreams. I remember, how we called each other offensive and also sweet names.  I remember, he didn't reply my text cause he fell asleep on the floor, waiting for me to reply. I remember, we said 'I love you' before we sleep, but the difference is, my words were real... so;
Until one day, he met new friends...
I understand that we're just best friends, but I'd fallen for him... I'd fallen for my best friend..

" Heyy..since when did I have you in my contact? haha!" was his very first words to me...
" What the hell do you want again? " was his very last words to me...

If only he knew what and how I'm feeling..... he'll understand..if he lets his egoness leave his side for a second..

I know that I have to let go.... How I wish I'd stayed cold so that it won't hurt this much. So that I do not have to wait for him to realise.. Now I'm not ready to open up again. Or maybe I won't open up anymore. I'm scared, the same mistakes will come back. Songs that I'd listened, kept reminding of him..him...and just him....

Crown The Empire - lead me out of the dark
Evan Taubenfeld - Best years of our life

I wanna let go...I wanna let him free...free from my mind, free from my life... But when I do, I'm afraid that he'll come back. So please, please don't come back...I'm weak. Just keep walking your endless road. But always know, that I'd loved and cared about you...I miss you
I'd hated you too, but I forgave you...cause,

I wanna start anew....
I wanna to have a guy best friend that won't leave...that will be here for me, like I will for him... that understands why am I talking randomly and all....that shows me that they'll be here..
And I guess, it's just a matter of time....

I'll try to start anew...

I don't get it

I don't get it...

I don't get,
How someone can erase you from their memory.
How someone can just delete your existence.
How someone can just walk pass by you and pretend nothing happened between you two.
How someone can completely forget about all of the memories you've made together.
How someone can get over you so quickly.
How someone can just lie to your face.
How someone can lose feelings unexpectedly.
How someone can change your entire mood in an instant.
How someone can walk away like your meant nothing.

I just don't get it...
It doesn't make sense to me...

-------

I found this on Facebook. I'm able to relate this to my personal life. And I find this quote pretty, so I'd decided to share.. ^^

play: The Second Chance

Hi everyone! x) how's life? I'm good today, after a good laugh with my friend, Adrian =)
It's kinda late to write bout this, cause it happened on 24th Nov...that is, yeahh..quite a long time ago, I guess?

So yeah, my good friend, Aevie, invited me to a play by her church groups, and she's in the play ;D she is the dancer in that play.. it's called 'The Second Chance'

It's a freakinggggggggg nice, niceeee, niceeee and hilarious play. Damn, I laughed like crazy -.-"
Oh, so here how it goes..

As it stated there...first....that's not important... -.-"
So yeah, when me, my 2 other friends and my sis arrived there....... that makes 4 of us. It was sooooooo awkward! We have no idea what to do and where to go...until Aevie appear HAHA! that's sooo embarrassing and there were HUMANS EVERYWHERE...like derrrr~ and yadayadaaa..we went to the counter to give our tickets and were given numbers...our numbers were 19, 20, 21 ans 23...Idk why they'd skipped 22...but that's not important. So, Aevie brought us to the canteen. We waited there for a few minutes and talked rubbish..hoho! And so our numbers we being called. We went upstairs and sat at the best seats...I suppose -.-"
And yeah, as it started...they make clear the rules first...like...phones were to be switched off and blah3... the synopsis were then read...and then the show begins~

Ohhh..before that, my sis told me that a guy who's sitting across (cause the seats were arranged in.....  left, middle and right side...all facing towards the stage...which is at the middle...........and I have no idea what am I talking 'bout and oh, we sat at the side, 2nd row) is good looking and she kinda has a crush on that guy, cause he's like mixed blood. And yeahh..he's good looking x) and I kinda had a just-crush on the same guy o.O so, I was like, nevermind..just forget it..

Lemme just tell you guys my point of view~ I'm just gonna tell it briefly....hoho! laziness~ =p

Before the play started, a girl sang a song...and her voice was nice!! I mean perfect! gawddd! her voice's sooo powerful too...the mic was like 16inches away from her mouth..but it's still damn loud. That's teh time, when I realised that Brunei has talented singer(s)....

Scene 1:
This man, named mr.Tan is damn selfish and loves to cheat on poorer people. He has a shop which sold almost everything.. " Nice to look, nice to try. If you touch, you must buy ", is his shop's policy.. -.-"
There's this woman that wanted a lower price for the clock that she's holding during the promotion, cause it's still too expensive and can't really afford it. Mr.Tan said the clock was from somewhere...somewhere foreign country (which I can't remember...duhhh). But he refused to give her a lower price, but she had to buy...cause of this shop policy.
Then, there's a little girl came, asking for donation..but Mr.tan said that he has no time for all those things. The little girl then kept asking him for it and gave him an advice....that God would be glad and all (I can't remember what she said). Then, at last he surrendered and gave her a quite amount. But not just that, he asked for change -.-"
His best friend, Alex then came to visit him and told him not to be so stingy. Alex also asked him to believe in  Jesus and advise mr.tan to change. but in mr.tan's eyes, money is more important...


Scene 2:
So, here we go...we'll be meeting mr.tan's mother, wife and his 2 children. His mother was the best comedian that night! HAHA! she's old and cute! while his wife....loves to shoooooooooooop and shoppppp and shoppppp -.-" " shop, shop, shop, shop till I drop"...
His 2 children, Cayden and Sophie are just great... they're the ones that went to church and loves to lecture their dad, to open up his mind, to accept Jesus. But, as always......he's too busy~ counting money...
Mr.tan also wanted Sophie to marry to a rich business man's son..so that he could be rich-ER...
Then, the daughter started to sing, and there's when Aevie appeared..dancing haha! she looked like a lil girl..hoho!


Scene 3:
This is when Nick...an ordinary man, came to mr.tan's shop to buy a present for his wife. Finally, he chose a washing machine. "This is not an ordinary washing machine.....(blah3)...it is called 'KABOOM!'"
So, when Nick finally arrived home and he happily asked his wife to unwrap the Christmas gift. He also bought presents for his kids with the money he has left. All of them were so excited to test the greatness of the washing machine. 
They sang the song 'If I Were A Rich Man' and dance to the song...my gawdddd.....It was soooo hilarious!
The washing machine then...KABOOM! exploded... Nick was freakin' mad and.......


Scene 4:
Nick arrived to mr.tan's house and knocked of the door vigorously.
Cayden were ordered to open the door...and so he went to the door and saw an angry person. He quickly told his dad to open the door him self..and so he did. Nick just rushed in and scold and maybe threaten mr.tan. Suddenly, mr.tan just fell on the ground.
Ambulance..............mimo,mimo,mimo..~~


Scene 5:
Depression....tears....panic.....begging the doctors....prayers...
Mr.Tan had a heart attack...

Scene 6:
So, mr.tan's soul were being taken by 2 angels and he was brought to face Jesus. Mr.tan's name wasn't in the Lamb's Book Of Life, so he has to go to The Lake Of fire. Gawdd....even though this is just a play, it was really scary -.-" the screams.................... Mr.tan then begged for forgiveness and for a second chance, and also promised to accept Jesus. Jesus Christ couldn't really forgive mr.tan at first, until he heard Cayden and Sophie's cries, begging Jesus to forgive their father....

This is when the guy which I thought my sis talked bout appeared...he's one of the dancers..I thought he's just the audience. So I asked my sis "is he the one you're talkin' bout?" " I dont know, I don't think so..."


Scene 7:
Mr.tan who died for 5 minutes, came back to life. And the doctors check again, for confirmation.. at last, they agreed that his heart's as healthy as a new heart... mr.tan then, told everyone that Jesus is real and also shared what he'd experienced while he was away...


After that, a guy showed us 3 pictures...they are the ones that died and came back to life..cause they were give a second chance....

Soooo...that's all... I'm sorry if my english is all upside down and bad....today, I'm just too tired and lazy. I planned to finish this post last Thursday...not it's Sunday already... -.-" delayedddddddd....

Then, all the actors, actress and dancers reappeared and came forward to thank us and appreciate us (all the audience) for coming..we shook hands. I was sooo blank. Then, I realised who's my sis was talkin' bout.. all this time, she talked bout a damn good looking guy..who is also mixed blood. White-ish and bruneian-ish. So, phewww...I'll keep this crush feelings I have....temporarily, perhaps?

Oh, I only shook Aevie and her sis's hand...the strangers....no no no! haha! oh before that, the guy that I had a crush on, was in front of me...he thanked the kids in front for coming to the play. Then, you know whaaaaat? We met eyes to eyes.....gahhhhhhhhhhh!!! I feeling like flying.... -.-" fail... I couldn't forget that moment.. but I know I'll have to let go soon....when it's gone, it's gone ^^ but I really hope to meet him...?

At last, we have refreshments, and he was standing beside the door. so we yumyumyummm...it was sooo late and I cant believe i ate a lot that day -.-" and it was time to go home...it's already 11pm. The last time I saw him is, me and my friends when out of the canteen, and he just came in.... buuuhuhu!
But yeah, I don't have any feeling for him anymore -.-" cause it's just simply a crush yaww~ haha

I know I talked a lot, and this time, this post is boring....cause I got bored typing these too... I hope you all read until the end? T.T

Running

Heyyy whatssup?
Today I feel low and down, I really have no idea why...dammit.... I just feel lost and I have no idea what to do next..
This emptiness in me now needs blood for replacement...I think. That's the only way I can be myself again. Some people do it to be alive.. y'all have to understand. We're not trying to kill or hurt ourselves.. but honestly, that's the only way. It'll leave ugly scars, but, this time, everything is just ugly.
Breaking down to let go is never enough... while I'm typing these, I nearly into tears. Why? I don't know either. I bet it's not only me feeling this way tonight, but others too. I'm not encouraging, but this is the reality. We are just feeling empty.

I hope to feel better after blogging these, rather than telling people what I'm feeling right now personally or in statuses in Facebook or in Twitter. They might call me attention seeker or....I don't know......  If I wanna share my problems with my friends, but, I don't trust them to actually understand my situation...to understand me. I don't need their sympathy...that's just stupid and weak!! Gawddd... I'm just so confuse. Watssup with me? I really, really have no clue.

Last few days I feel so great and thought I'd grown stronger. I never thought I'll ever feel this low again, honestly. I just hate and hate and hate everything! I'd learnt to learn how to turn my sadness into anger, which I thought it might help cause these few days I really feel great. Since, anger could fade away easily, but this case, it's never the same. This anger just grows... fuck it!

I hate the friend that lied to me! I hate the friend that left me!
I hate myself for being such a weak shit! I hate myself for never being good enough!
I hate myself for being myself and everyone just hates me!
I hate the reality that I'll have to wake up from these nightmares!
I hate all these shits!! They're just rubbish!! EVERYTHING IS JUST RUBBISH!

And one good thing when I'm feeling down is, you can ask me to do whatever you need me to. I would just do it without any complain or questions. I don't even care to give a damn if it's right or wrong cause I'm not thinking. When my parents asked me to finish my chores, I'll do it without any complain, when I'm like how I am now. but in normal days, I'm just a rebellious daughter.

If I'm or we (people who's like me) feeling lost and empty, we have a cure...that is....what it is. Sometimes, when we're quite sober, there will be hesitation whether we're gonna do it or not. I swear, we never wanna hurt ourselves. We'd tried to think the happy things that come, but if the anger or sadness wins, we know what to do...
I never wanna disappoint my parents for being such a problematic daughter. I'd tried to stay focus and strong, sometimes we can't stand up once we fall...I know you know it.

I'm just typing what I'm feeling... not even thinking. To my friends that read this blog, I really, really hope that you would treat me like you used to.. Just forget what you've read. And I'm sorry that I've failed to be a good friend to you.

The war that lasts

Hi! I just wanna stop by, to share a video. And also my opinion, since it's all over the news. Worldwide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGQ43wL4Wxo

After watching this video, I hope you viewers open your mind.

What did these innocent people do, to deserve this? I began to understand and see the reasons, that war CAN be avoided. Last month, I've written an essay on 'Can war be avoided?' and I my opinion was 'no', but now I think war may be avoided. How? Working hard. It's just the matter of people (of Israel)  knowledge about the loss of innocent people in Gaza's life, the loss of of respect to each other, and perhaps the loss of pride. This creates prejudice. I believe not everyone in Israel is as evil as what it seemed in the video. I believe a lot of them wanna stop all those killing or bombing.

In Gaza, the kids still have a long journey to go. Everyday, they are living in fear. No parents to comfort and protect them, no families to stay beside them and no one will be there to save their soul.

Blood flowed from head to toes.
Tears they cry, dried out.
Wounds will remain as scars.
Their screams left unheard.
Hatred kept in heart till the end.

These cases aren't things what happened in Haiti, where all of us could help by donating our belongings with all our heart. Or anything like what happened in Africa, where medical supplies are available. It is also nothing like global warming.
But this, ain't a life for donation, ain't a life for replacement. Once it's gone, it's gone forever....
If only forever never exist....
Singers made songs about stopping war and movies about the evil war were made...hoping that the world may change, but some people are too arrogant to understand their indirect message..

Imagine;
Souls running around back and forth every single day,
Repeating the process again and again,
Trapped in the war zone.
Some of them didn't even know that they're gone,
Keep searching for help,
Keep searching for love...
Some dies without their love ones by their side...

Have you ever stop for a second and think of the reasons why most of the countries, worldwide are at peace state from centuries ago?
The answers are everywhere. From the sky to the ground that we're standing. 

I apologise if anything I said here offend you guys. It's never on purpose. I just wanna give out my opinion on some things.....like these.

The house where I used to live

Hi readers! ^^ I would just wanna thank you all, especially my friends, for 'supporting' my lame stories and shits...hoho!! If you were wondering whether my stories...I mean, 'non-fiction' stories are real or not... cause, I know, for example, yesterday I wrote a sad and hateful story of what's happening. Then, the next day, I'm all different and high.

Yes, they are true. But, it's up to you to believe or not... I'm all different after a good night sleep.....cause I kept telling myself that;

 " this is a new day, and don't let anyone or anything to bring me down"

Oh, lemme just get straight to my point where the title is all about~ =p

One dayyyy~ It was Sundayy~ ok, whatever..

My mum brought me and mah sis to the city for some...I don't know...

My cousin is gonna marry soon and so, we went to his future wife's house and discuss whatever it is...and then, my mum drove us to somewhere very familiar...

At first, my sis and I thought it was our uncle's house...but then, the deeper we went, the weirder it seemed.. after that my mum just stopped there..

" where the hell is this? "

" It's our second house "

Yeahh...it was our second rent-house. We haven't had a house yet....until now. This is why my FU relatives...some....looked down on us, my family. But I would like to fuckin' thank them, as they indirectly fuckin' motivated me on my studies. On the other hand, the pressure is unbearable.

I remember, when I was still in primary school...I asked my mum, when will we have our own home....

" Maybe when you reached primary 6 or when you get into middle school "

But......now I'm in college...already =) I've been waitingggg....and waitingggggggg.....and waiting....for 7 years. No, no, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate what I have now....or what I have today. But living in a house where no one really appreciates you...haha! it's tough.

Yesterday, my parents talked about the fucking rumors that is happening right now during dinner time....and voices get louder and louder.  Luckily, it was twisted into jokes...*pheww

Oh gawddd! I'm off the topic again.... Every time, when we head to the city, I would ask my mum to show me our 2nd house is...but it was too far away...and my lazy mum is lazy -.-" hahaha!

And yeah, I remembered that, that house used to be clean and beautiful... There's a big garden with green grasses everywhere we turn. Mah sis and I used to run around, picking flowers, catching birds or play with whatever we grabbed... When it's night time, me and my family would go out for a walk, and there'll always be bats flying around the light pole. And when it's time to sleep, I would always run to my parents room with all my pillows and blankets I'd hugged, cause I was afraid of ghosts..

We had a neighbour.... her name is Emily. She's somewhere from the western.

At that time, she was about mah sis's age. Her parents were very welcoming and lovely. My sis and I always play with her in the house...building sandcastle, play dolls, jump around and all. Her dad had this cool camera where he always record 3 of us playing together.

I hope to see her again... but if I do, I wonder does she remember anything we had years back then..haha! cause she was tiny...

I've forgotten her face, but I know her name =)

So, all those lovely memories I still have with me, turned upside down after I saw what'd happened to that house where I used to live. The garden......the walls of the house.....are all deadly and looking stupid!! Wild and dirty ugly trees grew there... The house is all messed up..covered with fuckin' dirty black dirt. The gates are all destroyed. I was angry and upset....really. The place that I used to know, is now different. haha! I guessed I've forgotten that time flies damn fast..

I didn't take any pictures of the house, cause I was shocked, speechless and numb to move a muscle...

Here I am. Writing anything I could remember, cause I know maybe one day I would forget these happy memories I once had..  So, yeah..that's all! ^^ Thank you for reading! Jaja

PTET expo - fun!

Heyyy guys! whatssup? =)

Today (17/11/12) is the day that I've looked forward since days agooooo... it took ages for you to wait something that you're waiting for.....the ferk am I saying? -.-"
We....the other colleges are doing their expo in the city...but us, PTET....at town -.- *fail
Anyway, It was lots of funnnnnnnn!!

One of my friend (Viv) and I, were shift 1 ...that is from 8am to 11am...(3 hours)
Shift 2, is from 11am to 2pm....(3 hours)
And shift 3, is from 2pm to 5pm.....(3 horus)
But both of us stay till shift 3....yeahhh... 9 freaking hours mahn! T.T

We, ptetians, sold a lot of things....
There were, arts (painting and sketching), handicraft or recycled stuff (bottles to vase, cloth to ribbons, pieces of paper to bookmarks), food (sandwish, sushi and mini choc cupcakes), Henna (whatever the sp is), maths puzzels ( eggs, matchbox and ermm..something2 origami).....oh! and also foot massage~ ohh yeah~
These pictures are taken by my friend, Jessie.

I handled the food section....with Viv...
1 box mini cupcakes ( 4 pieces) - $1
1 box sushi (6 pieces) - $6.........................wait, what?! o.O yeah, I know...I'd told her to change, but she refused...*sigh* I knew that no one's gonna buy....until an ex-smsb teacher...who is my ex-math teacher when I was in high school...bought it...and he's the first and the last....during shift 1.... -.-" She compared what she'd done to escapade.....and I advised her and 'lecture' her...cause, c'mon, we're no where near those professionals.... the mini cupcakes...there's around 2 customers that bought them... =)
Those maths puzzels, only the 'eggs' ( where we have to.........arrange to form an egg? A correct one of 
course)
The handicraft thingy and recycled thingy were handled by a couple of my good friends, like Liy and Naz...And they were interviewed! x) gawddd! they're so brave to talk in front of the camera, without script. If I was one of them, I.....................would be happy......................with script on my hands....ok, whatever hahaha! Oh, it was 8pm, a couple of hours ago, in the Brunei news, I was soooo thrilled to watch the news, because of them....well, yeahh...3 hours of standing there....and the TV interview that the news showed, were like 3 minutes -.-" I mean, seriously...but one of our art students was in the TV....too bad I have no idea who she is....buhuhu~

Our promotion

It was until shift 2, Viv decided to change plan....that is;
1 box of sushi ( 18 pieces) - $5
and yeahh, I totally agreed with that..I mean, that worth...the box was full and all... the products or food, were sold in a rate of 0.0000005 per second. Nahhh...just kidding...It was just okeyyy... 
The 'massage team' has arrived, and that's when foot massage it available....but no one brought the stuff...sooooo.....we were scold by miss. LALALALALALALALALALALALA...huh... we were rushing to go to the town to sell our products, cause we're LATEEE! and we have to find the other students that didn't show up..... I don't really understand what happened...but we all got blamed...esp Viv...haha! She was sooo pissed off...all bad words just flow~~~~~~ like this..~~~~~~ haha!
I swear, I sweated like a waterfall............gawdddd! It was crowded and hot! and sticky with this darn school uniform...fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... oh, and then Me, Viv and Mas went to Jolibee and have our brunch~
Oh, my best friends, Mij and Fifat, were there too! They're under foot massage.... We took pictures,walk back and forth promoting our products.....and then, the miss. foot massage (Mij)'s leg got cramp...and she's like taller and tough-looking girl...put her weight on me, and I have to support her....meao.. -.-" I'm just.........nevermind~ not gonna say mah height~
And Vivien and I continued to stay till shift 3.....Mij and Fifat went home...I mean back to school....

So, the shift 3 students came....We told them what to do...we stayed till shift 3, it's all because there'll only be 9 students....while shift 1 and 2.... 15 students.. and no one will handle the food section, so yeahh B)
Our friends, Khai and Fareed was sooooo much fun! We told them to promo the food and asked them to bring back 10 customers...neh, at least 3 customers....and darn it! They did it! Hahaha! We were just joking...
Then, we decided to change plan again...
1box ( 4 sushi + 4 cupcakes) - $3

and very last minute tuna sandwish were added into the list....
1 box (4 pieces of bread) - $2
 so, yeah, instead of just standing there...cause the seats were limited, I've decided to join them....
We wander around....and round.....and round............and......aim! There! A customer bought our food....there are secrets actually~

" ohhh! Hi teacher! Do you wanna buy these? This one is sushi, and the other one is just cupcakes! Or do you want 2 in 1 (cupcakes + sushi)? This is actually $6, but it's because you're a teacher, we decided to give you only $5 ( it's actually $5 -.-)"

" Hi! Do you wanna buy this? It's sushi...it's a healthy food. It's actually $6, but for you, we'll just give you $5... you can give your kids~"

" Hi teacher, do you wanna buy these? It's offered! If you buy 1, it'll be $3, and if 2, $6~"

" How about this? We just made it...it's nice"

HAHAAHAH!! darnn.....so cute! They're just funny. How I wish I could be as creative as them! x'3
I'm glad to have friends like them...
But then, after a few rounds, we all got tireddddddddddddd....but me and Viv don't wanna give up....until all the products were sold out...
And the $3 sushi + cupcakes were sold out! x)

The $5 sushi and $2 sandwish...there's still a few boxes left... so, Viv and I invited Riz to join us.. I love him, he's just a cutie! 

Riz

So, he shouted like selling fish in the fish market...gawd...that's embarrassing...and then, Erw joined us...he's promoting his foot massage~
Yeah, we sold quite a lot~
And the foot massage, it was quite a service! =)
8 minutes - $3

Oh, we walked from booth to booth. HAHA! and then, we came to a school named 'Ripas'.. WE. WERE. COMPETING. WITH. THEMMMMMMMM.... their booth the few feet away from ours. We offered them our products, and we have to buy their products in return. Erw and one of the student (girl) were competing...and it's like you're able to see the lightning and thunder between them..hahah! kiddin' =p but yeah, I'm not kidding....wth? The students were not bad....I mean in term of attitude..and.... =p the guys are good looking...and the girls.........................hey! I'm straight! =p but yeah, they're just juniors... but at last., we won't the battleeeeeeeee! A big thanks to Erw! hoho!!

So, it was until..........around 45 minutes before 5pm..... we passed by Jolibee. And Viv was talking and asking me stuff...which I can't remember what they were, cause I saw HIM~ ='3
He was at the corner, in Jolibee, ready to stand up and leave, and I think it's him....that look, that hair, those eyes....that's HIM.... it should be him...
Even though, if it's not, I don't care~ I just wanna see HIM...or maybe just someone that looked like him, which could give the impression of HIM...muahahahah! I'm just happy now =') But I know this happiness won't last long, but who cares? I'm enjoying it right now x')
It was around 3 seconds...until a stupid, fat, big asshole wall ( a real wall..not a person -.-" ) BLOCKED MY VIEW T.T and I can't see him no more T.T...
I kept turning around, but Viv kept talking to me and I don't want them to suspect something...so, yeahh...byebye ='( I hope to see HIM again....and I hope to talk to him again...blahhhh~

And finally, we reached our booth. I went blank for a few seconds, cause my mind kept playing the scene where I saw 'HIM' before the wall block my view! -.-" sad ending~~~
Anw, we counted the $$$$ 'chaching chaching' and we made quite a lot.... 70% comes to us (there's 6 of us) and 30% goes to the school.....

Packing...packing....packing.....Imma wanna go home soooo bad! Wanna 'rest', but then I'm here updating my blog~~
Overall, today, I'm happy! Just happy! =) Thanks to all my friends...
but, in the morning, I was rushing too...cause I was suppose to wake up at 5.45am...my alarm rang... " 5 more minutes... 5 more minute" Then, suddenly, my dad came into my room and wake me and mah sis up...I looked at the clock, and it was 6.15am....WTFFFFFFFFFFF?!?! how could the 5 minutes be so fast? o.O 

Dear 5 minutes,
Just be 5 minutes. And now half and hour when my dad wakes me up next time. xoxo
                                                                                                                              sincerely, Van.

And every school time, I follow my friend's car, and recess time, she'll be following my car~ nehh...my mum's car....to be specific =p it's always 6.45am, she.....I mean her dad picks me up..but sometimes...it's earlier than usual... at that time, I was having my breakfast...and the bread was full in mah mouth, when her car came....I kinda stuff everything into my mouth...poor mehhh 3= yeah, I know...Then, my dad scold me -.-"

" You took 10 minutes to iron your cloth!"
" Nooo..@&@*@(" <----can't talk properly
" Who says no?! "
" I di.....did &@*@ not!! " <----still can't talk properly

but yeahh...whateveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer....................................................................
Anyway, my friends are awesome! But not as awesome as meh =p so, yeahhh...today is a great day! =)


Oh btw, there were 2 beautiful butterflies yesterday... a big one and a tiny one... and I guess, it's my grandma and my brother =') I do love them..and miss them... I'm too lazy to upload their butterflies form photo..hehe!

So, I hope you, readers are having fun reading my long stories..... 3 in 1 story ^^ Thank you y'all!

me and myself

" Heyyy guys! I was bored and suddenly this idea came into my mind. Why don't we compete in maths and mech? The bottom 3 will be punished "

And yeahh...that's what I said to my friends...I mean my group...
What I meant, what I really meant is, c'mon lets compete...so everyone will not wanna be the bottom 3. So, everyone will fight and work hard to not be the bottom 3. I was TRYING TO FUCKIN' MOTIVATE EVERYONE! THAT WAS MY INTENTION, but then, my idea of motivating my friends turned into misunderstanding and insult.
I really do not get it... until today I don't. This happened just yesterday...and I thought a good night sleep would change everything...would change my mood. But no, I'm still confused and wondering, what did I do wrong? I really don't know which part of my sentences above hurt... and yeah, 'punished' isn't that obviously to motivated my friends? Like who wants to get punished? No one! So work hard! And the punishments aren't like to be thrown into the fuckin' cell or being executed or being kicked out from the group... It's just, it will be something fun to do.

I've done this with my friends last year...or is it last 2 years... and there's no problem! We're not from the same class...., but everyone's fine....we're playing along. I couldn't remember if I still have the paper with me..................................................
Oh yeahh....I found it! It was in the box where I keep everything I had with my friends =) and all of us were having fun! I remember, one of my friend who joined this game.....she didn't fail the Religion subject ...well....she always fails that subject. And there will be punishments if she fails again...but, no, she didn't. And I'm glad this is a motivation to her =)
Oh I just remember, I'm not with my friends that I had last year.. Now, I have new friends...now is a different school...different personality haha! can't bring back what I had years before.. =')

I never, never, never see my friends as weak. NEVER! But yeah, one of my group members was offended. And we updated statuses, insulting each other. Then, I'd stopped...cause I don't want anything to get worse. Plus, he talked about my 'best friend' that talked shits behind me. and you know what? If she really wants me to fuckin' change my fuckin' attitude, she could just say it to my face, not behind me =) If YOU don't understand my intention, talk to me, not comment on the post where everyone would read and this might involved everyone!

" whatever bitch, I have no time for craps "
" Just say it, I'll listen =) "
" ohh..wait, lemme take some notes =D "
" All the matters is, God knows my reasons. I wouldn't give a damn what others think. People say and fight for what they think is true, without knowing the truth "
" Not a single fuck will be given "
" I'll let you say whatever you want. This time, I won't try to make things right. Cause everything I say is wrong, so what for? ^^ "
" woootever yew saaaayyy~ ^^ "
So, yeahhh...that's what I'd updated as my statuses... I'll just take a step back =)


" So are you gonna tell anyone? Awww how 'mature' of you~ Tell you mommy too okey? ^^ "
" Someone is pissing off... Bitch c'mon, compare to what they feel, you should feel stupid, k? .l. "
" Look around you before you even start saying anything... Understand the situation k? "
" Owhhh... take note! 2x2=4, 2x1=0, 2x1=0 <----amount of f*** given..."
" Yeahh... I have problem calculating =3 "
" You can spot the irony of your own word right? "
" Haha.....look whos talking. Pissing you off~ xD "
" Isn't it the same as your bestfriend's intention for you? Someone is trying to change your harsh and cynical ways, okay? "
So, yeahhh...that's what he said...


I always update my Facebook or Twitter status about how I feel, cause I really feel better doing it, instead of telling my friends or my parents about how I feel... but then, hahaha! thank you mahn! thanks a lot!!

When I thought I'm okey, and I managed to walk out of my dark world, there will always someone try to bring me down. And one of the reason why I never tell anyone how I feel, because....THIS IS THE REASON!!!!
There will always be someone that claimed that they understand me, but then...hahaha! Shits happen. This is not the first time.....so, that's why instead of explaining and make things right, I'll just shut up. No one will listen. No one will ask. I'm already used to it. If I'm misunderstood, I'll just let it be. I wouldn't even try to make things right. Cause there's this term called Tired.

People will always try hard to bring you down. They'll never care how will you feel after wards. Me, I've hurt a lot of people, and I'm not gonna be the old me again... who will always say untrue shits just to make someone to feel bad about themselves and find revenge.... I've grown up a lil bit and started to learn that when someone's mad at you or they hate you, they will always try to bring you down. WILL ALWAYS! But I do not wanna do the same.. =)

Well, 
thank you for making me feel bad about myself,
thank you for making me feel bad about my existence,
thank you for bring up all those shits,
thank you for 'understanding' me,
thank you for claiming untrue things,
thank you for hurting me,
thank you for letting me to hurt myself
thank you for being an honest friend.... =)

If everything I say hurts a lot, you'll see the changes soon...
Yes, I admit, I hurt people with my words sometimes...or every time....unconsciously...but it's all because if you made me mad....it just happens...and only my dad knows why. I broke down when he told me about myself....I broke down cause he knows me well...
Yes, I admit, I'm rude and harsh sometimes......that's why when I was younger...in primary school, I hung out with my guys friends, cause I just couldn't fit in with the girls...they're just so sensitive and scream queen...gawdd...

Anything to add? ohh yeah, I do not blame anyone here, really.....cause yes, it's me...I'm a bad influence, a bad friend, an attention seeker, a freak, a fake, a bitch.......haha!
I wouldn't mind people calling me so, cause why would I waste my time trying to be whatever you want me to be? why would I try to change, when I'm glad I found myself? Why would I care about judgement, when all you know is my face? Why would I cry for those, when you never try to walk under my skin?

And my final point is, I won't change! Sorry =)
" Don't like me for who I am? Then, don't like me for who I am. And all you can get is who I am " - Avril Lavigne...

" You want me to change, but all I feel is strange " -Bill Kaulitz

But no worries, I will try to improve myself.... when any of you had improved yourselves. Simple =)
I'm sorry if I've offended any of you readers, I'm just saying my heart out..... I type a lot, I don't talk much... I love sharing my problems with people I don't know, rather than people that I know....or people I thought I knew...