That stupid maniac that scares me to death!!

Woootsuup people! Imma wanna post bout a maniac that was about 100m away from my house that day (which I couldn't really remember when...I think it happened on 7th may). andddd...yeah...100m away from my house, what I'm trying to say it...well...my house, I mean my granny's house is on top of the hill and in front of this house is a ermm... it's called 'OG Complex' anyway.. --"

It was earlyyyyyyyyyyyy in the morning and that morning I will be having my Pure Maths exams (i think) and I went to the window to breathe in freashhhhhhh air with morning dew blah3..then there's this maniac. He was sitting in front (100m) away from me and there's something really reallyyy...I really mean reallyyyyyy wrong with what he's doing. His posture and body language --"

Oh ya, the shops are all closed and he was sitting in front of one of the Indian shops and directly facing my granny's house... =s

So I just looked a him, kept looking at him and it was really reaaaaalllly wrong... the more I look at him, the wronger he is (I know that word doesn't really exist, I think HAHA). I can't really see what he was doing(my eyes have degrees..the heck I'm talking..), that is why I kept looking..I mean staring --" Cause you know what? His hands were in his pants and doing something damn inappropriate..he was like playing/scratching/whatever with his **** --" what a bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... so when I realised, I quickly looked away and when inside my house. I told my sister to peek at him, just in case I see it differently. So she did and told me that there's just a guy sitting there --" and I asked her to take a look again ( I didn't mean anything bad here! helloooo!!) andddd..so she did and laughed about it...so did I. I swear it was a nervous laugher cause we have to go to the bottom of the hill to wait for the bus to pick us up. T.T

I went to tell my mum about it cause I was scared... and yeah, my dad was still sleeping zzZzZZz..SHE SAW IT TOO! Then she told my granny's maid about it...then, here's the scary part..so told my mum that just before I was him sitting in front of the shop..I mean the 'complex', he called her..bout she stood what she was standing cause...I don't know..he looked scary perhaps? o.O

" heyy! heyyy come here! I wanna give you something! It's nice, do you want it? "

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN --"

^@*^!@^&NUSIW@^&*YWET^&B!!! the fuckkkk he's talking about?!

so when I got home from school (which I sometimes find school is a safer place =( ) I asked my dad about the maniac and my dad told me that he chased that shitty maniac away which he really did. The maniac ran damn fast, he's like a sprinter. and my dad said that one day he will have that maniac in his hands..awww~ AHAHAH!!

and sooooooooooooo... THE END.

But honestly, Brunei is becoming a scary place... I used to think Brunei, my home is the safest place I can be..but..... =(

Here's To Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne

Soooooooooo yayyyyyyyyyy!!! Avril has released her first single music video yesterday (9/5/13) x) and omgggggggg!! I love loveee loveeeee the song and the music video!

Those fans kept complaining about the old and new Avril..and *BOOOOM* the old Avril is in the MV! haha! damnnnn x) she looked 17! So, Avril has only changed her style and taste, but Avril is always Avril, my idol =) FOREVAAA YOUNG

And ohhh!! There's Evan Taubenfeld! Her ex-guitarist, but they're always best friend even though..... =')
I've been finding a boy best friend who will stick and hang around, being crazy with me...and act like lovers....and don't give a damn to look stupid........and I haven't found one ='/ sad heh? haha!

Avril Lavigne is indeed forever young =)

here's her music video: WATCH IT!!!!! x)

ghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=sXd2WxoOP5g

If......

You never wanted me in your life, do you? I've felt grateful when I was able to see your face, but I hate your sad eyes cause they told me that you need me to motivate and help you. When I tried to, you kept pushing me away. It hurts to fall onto the ground and kept raising up.. those bruises, I'd hid them so you'll see how strong I am without you all these fuckin years, and I don't need you at all!
The truth is, I miss you and I need you for your advice and courage to help to to get through these tough life..
Yes, I've pushed you away, cause..

And just now when I was in the car,I kept thinking and thinking..I did that everyday and it was really torturing. I was still think why you left me all of a sudden. I knew and always do that we've been friends and will always be, but the truth is I............ I'm sorry.
So, I realised those words 'Triangle :)' and 'You happy, I'm happy :)' wasn't even for me..haha! It was such a shame.. It was for the girl you'd dated, the one who entered your life before I did, isn't it? You missed her, don't you though you rejected her and then after a few months she's with someone else.
I still remember, you told me that luckily you didn't accept her..which mean you'd liked her.. and yeah.. that's where 'Triangle :)'  and ' You happy, I'm happy :)' fitted in..

I'm really sorry if I thought you wanted me to be in your life when you never really did. Maybe I was only there to erase all your memories with her and perhaps, that's just my role in your life. I think I've done my job.

But I really need to know the reason(s) why? Why do you even say.....when you NEVER MEANT THEM AT ALL!!! I really wanna know why you'd have those guts to do what you've done? I want the answers from you..
Please, please...cause I really can't move on. I swear I really can't eventho I've tried. I really have tried ='/
I've tried to find some stupid reasons so that I can hate you too, but it always, ALWAYS end up as forgiveness.
've been crying tears that you will never see... I've got back up again to find the answers...

So, would you help me for one last time? Perhaps, you're...YOU'RE JUST CRUEL! ='/ Please stop torturing me and let me go so that I can do the same

'Stickman' has died here

I don't know if this makes any sense..but I've finally figured out why he left me.. I may be wrong..damn wrong. But with all the missing puzzles that I'd finally assemble them together... It was because of him? You may laugh at me if I'm wrong...

" Triangle :) " " I'm happy, if you're happy "

I don't know....... does that indicate to me? or maybe I just think that it's for me...

'Stickman' was the nickname that I'd called you, remember? ^^

Hey, stickman, if you are reading this..........I hope you will... I just wanna tell you that..I never, ever did or say whatever he told you 2 years ago. Please, please believe me. Last year......the reason I apologised were because I care and entered you life. I did not apologise for things I never did or say..

You never reply my text anymore...for a reason which I need to take another 2 years to figure out huh? It's really torturing, but I never gave up. And this is the only way I can 'talk' to you...but somehow..... you're............

That's all... I'm happy if you're happy too, Stickman =) I don't think I will be able to see you, even from a distance in this 1 or 2 months... Take care

I wonder if you find me annoying

13/4/13
So yeah, we'd texted for 1 week and now he'd stopped replying. We only texted once per day..and now not even one anymore. I wanna ask whether he's busy or what shits...but I'm really scared that he'll find me annoying. I kept thinking if I'm really nothing anymore? Not even a friend? When things like this happen, I tend to figure out what I'd done wrong. What have I written that made him doesn't wanna reply.
Help  me, please tell me what to do..

It hurts.... It's killing me.. I'd promised to God that I will move on after meeting him and talked to him..and yeah, my wishes are granted after 2 years and I need to move on. Trying to let go and move on, pretending like I don't give a damn on anything, killed me and stabbed me deeper.

I have so much to tell him, but I swear I will only tell those words I wanna say just right before I'm gone.
I've planned to leave Brunei and continue my futher studies abroad. I don't know how long will it take.

And I hope that he's happy with his decision.. if he doesn't reply today.. It means everything is over, cause waiting hurts every single soul. I don't know.... I just don't know. I hope he's happy, that's all.
I'm fed up!

3/5/13
Now I'm giving you space that you wanted. I've deactivated all my accounts because of you. I'm scare of another heartache cause you kept ignoring me. I've stopped going to the place where I know I'll see you. So, if this is what you've wanted... just pretend that I never exist if you wish. I have no control of that ^^ Tell me of you're ready to see me or talk to me again.. =)

Lil things

I bet we all already knew that...sometimes a stupid lil things can control our whole life...entire day!

I hate it! I hate who a person can make you feel so low..

Yeah, we've started texting last 3 days, but he'd stopped replying since yesterday and I really didn't know what I've done wrong this time. I really don't. He'd seen my text and then didn't reply anymore..I kept telling myself to be positive cause who knows he's buzy or there's no internet connection. But I don't know anymore.. at first our texts were fun and random, but then.....damnn...what have I done wrong again?

Should I text him again? I don't think so, cause I'm afraid that he'll find me annoying. And he'll find some stupid excuses just to get rid of me again. He'd asked me about school..then I'd replied...and now my mood is hanging upside down.

WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG THIS TIME?!

If we met coincidentally, I don't know how to react anymore. Should I be happy or mad or run away or.....I don't know.

But ha! I'll just get over it... since I've told myself that I will take this risks as I've already knew that this would happen ^^

Suit yourself. I just wanna our broken friendship to be better, but you would let me fix it.. so, just suit yourself. ^^

Never good enough

Have you every feel that you are never good enough, no matter how hard you try?

That is my current situation right now, cause yesterday I went to the tutors' office (there are around 10 tutors in one big office) and gave a permission slip to my Physics tutor, and he lend me my test paper. And guess what? It was 27 out of 44! which means I got a fcuking 61% for my Physics. I'd practiced Phys past year papers, and got such a disgraceful marks.

I found the Phys test is easier than Biology... if I got a stupid 61% for my Phys, what about my Bio? FML!

I've focusing on Phys a lot more than Bio..but this is what I got. I've changed my way of studying, that is constantly revising my Phys than any other subjects.

And my friends told me that Statistics - maths was damn hard. oh my God...I think this year will be the worst. Haha! I remembered I've said that I wanna be the top 10 students, but being the top fucking disgraceful shit is possible..

My parents always say, " Try harder and be more focus", but I always break down when they say those motivational words. Tears are already in my eyes when I type those --"

I don't know why, I'm just never good enough. My sister is like everything. She's smart, polite, lovely and all. But what am I? I'm nothing from all those characters she has.

I swear that last 2 years, when I was having O level, I wasn't really trying at all. And I forgave myself. So I'm trying really, really hard last year and this year, but this year is such a disaster. I HATE IT!

Lights - 'cactus in the valley'

Is now describing my situation right now. I wish to tell my parents those words in the lyrics..