Never good enough

Have you every feel that you are never good enough, no matter how hard you try?

That is my current situation right now, cause yesterday I went to the tutors' office (there are around 10 tutors in one big office) and gave a permission slip to my Physics tutor, and he lend me my test paper. And guess what? It was 27 out of 44! which means I got a fcuking 61% for my Physics. I'd practiced Phys past year papers, and got such a disgraceful marks.

I found the Phys test is easier than Biology... if I got a stupid 61% for my Phys, what about my Bio? FML!

I've focusing on Phys a lot more than Bio..but this is what I got. I've changed my way of studying, that is constantly revising my Phys than any other subjects.

And my friends told me that Statistics - maths was damn hard. oh my God...I think this year will be the worst. Haha! I remembered I've said that I wanna be the top 10 students, but being the top fucking disgraceful shit is possible..

My parents always say, " Try harder and be more focus", but I always break down when they say those motivational words. Tears are already in my eyes when I type those --"

I don't know why, I'm just never good enough. My sister is like everything. She's smart, polite, lovely and all. But what am I? I'm nothing from all those characters she has.

I swear that last 2 years, when I was having O level, I wasn't really trying at all. And I forgave myself. So I'm trying really, really hard last year and this year, but this year is such a disaster. I HATE IT!

Lights - 'cactus in the valley'

Is now describing my situation right now. I wish to tell my parents those words in the lyrics..