If......

You never wanted me in your life, do you? I've felt grateful when I was able to see your face, but I hate your sad eyes cause they told me that you need me to motivate and help you. When I tried to, you kept pushing me away. It hurts to fall onto the ground and kept raising up.. those bruises, I'd hid them so you'll see how strong I am without you all these fuckin years, and I don't need you at all!
The truth is, I miss you and I need you for your advice and courage to help to to get through these tough life..
Yes, I've pushed you away, cause..

And just now when I was in the car,I kept thinking and thinking..I did that everyday and it was really torturing. I was still think why you left me all of a sudden. I knew and always do that we've been friends and will always be, but the truth is I............ I'm sorry.
So, I realised those words 'Triangle :)' and 'You happy, I'm happy :)' wasn't even for me..haha! It was such a shame.. It was for the girl you'd dated, the one who entered your life before I did, isn't it? You missed her, don't you though you rejected her and then after a few months she's with someone else.
I still remember, you told me that luckily you didn't accept her..which mean you'd liked her.. and yeah.. that's where 'Triangle :)'  and ' You happy, I'm happy :)' fitted in..

I'm really sorry if I thought you wanted me to be in your life when you never really did. Maybe I was only there to erase all your memories with her and perhaps, that's just my role in your life. I think I've done my job.

But I really need to know the reason(s) why? Why do you even say.....when you NEVER MEANT THEM AT ALL!!! I really wanna know why you'd have those guts to do what you've done? I want the answers from you..
Please, please...cause I really can't move on. I swear I really can't eventho I've tried. I really have tried ='/
I've tried to find some stupid reasons so that I can hate you too, but it always, ALWAYS end up as forgiveness.
've been crying tears that you will never see... I've got back up again to find the answers...

So, would you help me for one last time? Perhaps, you're...YOU'RE JUST CRUEL! ='/ Please stop torturing me and let me go so that I can do the same