Our first meeting after 2 fcukin' years

Hi! I just wanna share some good news..that just happened just now =)

I was playing my game, badminton!!!! and I've been wanting my stupid racket's 'string' to break cause it's already 998% about to break...and YESSS!! my dream has come true! muahahahaha!! but sadly, I have no extra racket --" so yeah, I have to borrow my friends' rackets...sorry~~ =p

And I saw a damn tall guy wearing red (I was wearing red too tho =p) who looked so familiar to me..his heights..kept reminding me of HIM..the guy that....*sigh* I don't know why, but I kept looking or.......peaking at him..hoho! Then, the guy passed by me..at that time, I was 'back strok-ing' and didn't look up to see who the tall guy was..cause it'll waste my energy and 'ego' to see the person I don't wanna see. Then, my friends asked, "is that Jerry?" ofcourse, I'm not sure..I can't really see without my spec on.. so, I asked my another friend whether that tall guy is Jerry or not..and she said 'yes'.. and fuck! at that time I was playing..I mean competing..and I played like...URG! you don't wanna know. 
It was so hard to breathe and thousand of images kept repeating in my head..It was so hard to focus on the game. Our conversations and fights kept playing in my head...I feel like I would die. But kept telling myself that I have grown stronger and I need to keep my head high.

After the game has ended..I kept looking at Jerry, the guy that meant the world to me =') he hasn't really changed that much. He looked more muscular and his badminton skills are better. His hairstyle changed too.. while me, I'm just frozen in the timezone where........... He looked different and stronger..he's so fine..the guy with big dreams...

So I was playing stroke with my cousin, Vester..and I knew he passed my me again. I was damn tired. So, I'd asked Jun to play with Ves..and I'll be the empire~ and I saw him looking toward my direction..I didn't mean he's looking at me..I'm just saying TOWARD MY DIRECTION cause I can't even see without my spec..I can't see his eyes..I can only see his head turned for 3 seconds? hhaaha! I don't know..

His shirt was all wet, and he took off his clothes.. GAWDDD!! x'S how I wish HAHAHA!! my blurry eyes just spoil everything! So, I just looked away..it'll be weird if I look at him with his shirt off and trying to focus mt eyes --" weirdddddd..Put on an orange shirt and there he walked away.. ='/
" we didn't even greet each other ", my friend who seemed like having a crush on him said.. --"

I do sound like a stalker don't I --" well, it's not like what you think..it's just I don't wanna waste my chance on looking at him cause today was OUR FIRST MEETING AFTER 2 FUCKIN' YEARS ='/

And it was around 7 - 10 minutes till my friend's 'competing game' ended..I then quickly went out..pretending to need fresh air..but I knew he'd gone. So there I was, standing in the middle of the sport complex's door..on the stairs..hoping we'll meet again....

Then, a grey car passed by..my blurry eyes saw an orange shirt..and looked up to see the owner's face..and it's Jerry, looking at me and..I don't know how to explain this...ermm.... you know..if your friend that you haven't met for a long time saying 'hi' just by using his head...so that he'll look cool? haha! and yeah, I just raise my hand to say hi..but it's too late cause the car has passed by (oh, his friend was driving the car), but surprisingly he raised his hand too...
so yeah, I just went into the complex..smiling like crazy. But I kept telling myself that perhaps this is our last meeting...perhaps today was our goodbye. No words exchanged.

I've been waiting for this day. These are all God's plan, and thank God that...I love today 14/03/13. God has planning the right time for us... when I've grown stronger. I'm happy, but I know I have to let go. It really just a matter of time. It takes time for us to actually exchange words. I'll be waiting for that day. And I hope that he'll know that when we finally have the strength to do so, I've moved on.

I was really jealous where my friends saw him in Huaho...and actually talked...but, today is enough for me. I'll just wait...

What I really hate is he didn't accept my friend request at Facebook. I have no fucking idea whether him or my friend removed him... but whatever...what is done, is done. I've cancelled that friend request already tho... I just couldn't understand why he just wouldn't accept..he didn't even cancel it...at least if he does, I know what it means...

IF he's reading this, I hope he knows that I'm glad that he's doing so fine, tho I can see pain in his eyes when I looked at him, even tho I don't know why does his eyes looked so hurt..or who made his like that... I hope that he succeed in getting a degree and then marry this dream girl.. I've planned to study abroad..perhaps 4 - 5 years? cause I wanna take either till degree or till master..and I hope at that time he'd found the lucky girl =')
I hope that we'll forget and let go everything and start over by apologizing, and be good friends tho i know it won't be like 3 years ago...If you don't mind, please talk to me first, cause I never have the guts to start a conversation first...
And I would like to advice him to let down all his ego and never take things for granted, cause people will get tired eventually.. 
Choose your dreams, and break down all the wall of your pride. It doesn't worth anything.

Perhaps you never have any feelings for me, but you should know that ' I love you ' is not just a word for a girl. You shouldn't say it if you never meant it.

I'll miss you, my friend.