Words of the world

Hey you! Yeah youu, the one who's reading this post..

You do know you have a lot of things to say and do, but all of those are in your mind. You have a dream of seeing a new and better generations. A generation where discrimination and racism has been abolished, equality and respect will come after that OR maybe something more powerful and better, but I don't know what are they, only you do. =)

You don't have to be a science student or the top student, or famous for people to hear your voice. All you have and need is a heart.

Do you know that when you speak up what's in your mind today, tomorrow might be a better day to everyone, including me.

Don't be shy, cause we only live once, who knows tomorrow you'll be gone, and the words you've been wanting to tell the world became untold and old.

Before it's too late, stand up for the words the the world wanna hear, from you and you know that.

People won't always agree with you.

People will always try to break you.

But do keep in mind, that they are cowards with masks of trying to sound strong.

Who is stronger? The ones who dare to face the reality and take risks, and one of them is you. =)

Words can break us apart.

Words can also change a nation.

A change in nation can change the world.

Where have you been?

Hi guys! ^^

Yesterday, I've decided to text him...but when I asked advice from my friend yesterday, she told me it's better if I concentrate on my upcoming progress test first which will be tomorrow. So, after a second thought, I'd done what she'd advised me cause it's true..the progress is more important.

Then, yay! today is today..but I've decided to not text him at all..I'm just scared that I'm not prepared for everything. I'm afraid that he'll ignore my text like he always did before....before the sudden changes in him made him this way... =/

*sigh* I really really wish that he'll put all his ego away.. How I wish he'll text me first like he used to 3 years ago.. I still remember his first text hahaha! =')

But whatever it is...I just want him back, so that we can fix what we'd misunderstood last year, and we can be best friends again, where we can call each other names. That's all. I don't want him to be my lover or whatever is in his mind that day..I don't think is family wants it and I also don't think my family will agree with it..

And did you know why I'd told you that "let's be strangers again" ? Cause you kept avoiding me for the reasons I couldn't understand..but I've sorted them up few weeks ago. Anw, I said that because it seems you've fed up on me and need space, so yeah..I gave you what you've wanted.. and I wanna move on. That's so selfish of me...

" no, I'm too lazy to help you, bye, I'm out "

" I'm sorry, happy? "

"what do you want again?" haha! do you still remember those? You texted me those, which still hurt me until today.. I've tried to forgive you, but when I thought about it again and again, I seemed to hate you..but in the end I forgave you..and hate you and forgave you..it's been a cycle to me everyday. I just can't believe you'd said those shits I never wanna read..

So please, give me a sign and let us fix everything and be those two dumbass friends that share their secrets again.. Do you still remember a girl texted you, " I adore you..." and we laugh about it? hahaha! =') I miss that moment yaw!

If only you sincerely apologise that day.... If only you put your ego away... we would still be friends until today..haha! Anw, my apologises were really sincere for what I've said and done.

Please forgive me for what I've done in the past. I was naive and young.. and so were you.

Wtf? I'm saying this like you'll read them..pffftt.. Even if you do, would you talk to me again?

Eye to eye but....

Today 18/03/13, I met him again...but this time, he seemed like he'd let go of our tangled past between us. He seemed like he'd moved on......so easily. I was in agony for 2 years..and this is the third year, but slowly..I know I'm stronger. I'm glad I met a strong man...haha! but yeah, it was all over. It was just a one side love?
All those words he said to me were just jokes I guess?

I'm just glad that he did try to get close to me and my friend. I don't care what his intentions are.. I'm just glad that he's not as awkward as what everyone thought he is HAHA!

And he was about to go home, I passed by us and we looked eye to eye...but no words exchanged...I did repeat what my friend said, " you're going home? " he just nods his head... then we show his fist to aaaa what it's called? 'bum'?? 'buuuuum'??? nehh..but I bet you know when 2 friends greet with the fist.. NO NO! not fist fight ahah! but yeahh... and I showed my fist too, but then his fist turned into a 'hi-5'-ish and then used it to cover my fist? hahaha! I guess that's how we shake hands?
About my friend? Lets not talk bout it..it's not important =9 =9 hahaha!

Mie, read my tweets and she's happy for me. She told me that she's really happy knowing that I'm happy. I am happy if I'm letting all my feelings flow, but I built wall between me and him...and other people.. I hate to feel broken..well who doesn't?
She told me that she knew I wasn't the all smiley and laugh-out-loud girl at school. I was just faking it.. haha! I love her =)

And oh, I'm glad he didn't let our past and fights a reason to avoid each other, cause if he didn't make a move in the first place, I would not.. it's not because I'm a girl so I won't..but I just won't because our past still linger in my head. He's just so mature =)

I guess that's all.... I've built a wall to prevent myself to fall for him again...^^

P/S : I noticed that I've used a lot 'but' haha! thank you for reading! =p

Our first meeting after 2 fcukin' years

Hi! I just wanna share some good news..that just happened just now =)

I was playing my game, badminton!!!! and I've been wanting my stupid racket's 'string' to break cause it's already 998% about to break...and YESSS!! my dream has come true! muahahahaha!! but sadly, I have no extra racket --" so yeah, I have to borrow my friends' rackets...sorry~~ =p

And I saw a damn tall guy wearing red (I was wearing red too tho =p) who looked so familiar to me..his heights..kept reminding me of HIM..the guy that....*sigh* I don't know why, but I kept looking or.......peaking at him..hoho! Then, the guy passed by me..at that time, I was 'back strok-ing' and didn't look up to see who the tall guy was..cause it'll waste my energy and 'ego' to see the person I don't wanna see. Then, my friends asked, "is that Jerry?" ofcourse, I'm not sure..I can't really see without my spec on.. so, I asked my another friend whether that tall guy is Jerry or not..and she said 'yes'.. and fuck! at that time I was playing..I mean competing..and I played like...URG! you don't wanna know. 
It was so hard to breathe and thousand of images kept repeating in my head..It was so hard to focus on the game. Our conversations and fights kept playing in my head...I feel like I would die. But kept telling myself that I have grown stronger and I need to keep my head high.

After the game has ended..I kept looking at Jerry, the guy that meant the world to me =') he hasn't really changed that much. He looked more muscular and his badminton skills are better. His hairstyle changed too.. while me, I'm just frozen in the timezone where........... He looked different and stronger..he's so fine..the guy with big dreams...

So I was playing stroke with my cousin, Vester..and I knew he passed my me again. I was damn tired. So, I'd asked Jun to play with Ves..and I'll be the empire~ and I saw him looking toward my direction..I didn't mean he's looking at me..I'm just saying TOWARD MY DIRECTION cause I can't even see without my spec..I can't see his eyes..I can only see his head turned for 3 seconds? hhaaha! I don't know..

His shirt was all wet, and he took off his clothes.. GAWDDD!! x'S how I wish HAHAHA!! my blurry eyes just spoil everything! So, I just looked away..it'll be weird if I look at him with his shirt off and trying to focus mt eyes --" weirdddddd..Put on an orange shirt and there he walked away.. ='/
" we didn't even greet each other ", my friend who seemed like having a crush on him said.. --"

I do sound like a stalker don't I --" well, it's not like what you think..it's just I don't wanna waste my chance on looking at him cause today was OUR FIRST MEETING AFTER 2 FUCKIN' YEARS ='/

And it was around 7 - 10 minutes till my friend's 'competing game' ended..I then quickly went out..pretending to need fresh air..but I knew he'd gone. So there I was, standing in the middle of the sport complex's door..on the stairs..hoping we'll meet again....

Then, a grey car passed by..my blurry eyes saw an orange shirt..and looked up to see the owner's face..and it's Jerry, looking at me and..I don't know how to explain this...ermm.... you know..if your friend that you haven't met for a long time saying 'hi' just by using his head...so that he'll look cool? haha! and yeah, I just raise my hand to say hi..but it's too late cause the car has passed by (oh, his friend was driving the car), but surprisingly he raised his hand too...
so yeah, I just went into the complex..smiling like crazy. But I kept telling myself that perhaps this is our last meeting...perhaps today was our goodbye. No words exchanged.

I've been waiting for this day. These are all God's plan, and thank God that...I love today 14/03/13. God has planning the right time for us... when I've grown stronger. I'm happy, but I know I have to let go. It really just a matter of time. It takes time for us to actually exchange words. I'll be waiting for that day. And I hope that he'll know that when we finally have the strength to do so, I've moved on.

I was really jealous where my friends saw him in Huaho...and actually talked...but, today is enough for me. I'll just wait...

What I really hate is he didn't accept my friend request at Facebook. I have no fucking idea whether him or my friend removed him... but whatever...what is done, is done. I've cancelled that friend request already tho... I just couldn't understand why he just wouldn't accept..he didn't even cancel it...at least if he does, I know what it means...

IF he's reading this, I hope he knows that I'm glad that he's doing so fine, tho I can see pain in his eyes when I looked at him, even tho I don't know why does his eyes looked so hurt..or who made his like that... I hope that he succeed in getting a degree and then marry this dream girl.. I've planned to study abroad..perhaps 4 - 5 years? cause I wanna take either till degree or till master..and I hope at that time he'd found the lucky girl =')
I hope that we'll forget and let go everything and start over by apologizing, and be good friends tho i know it won't be like 3 years ago...If you don't mind, please talk to me first, cause I never have the guts to start a conversation first...
And I would like to advice him to let down all his ego and never take things for granted, cause people will get tired eventually.. 
Choose your dreams, and break down all the wall of your pride. It doesn't worth anything.

Perhaps you never have any feelings for me, but you should know that ' I love you ' is not just a word for a girl. You shouldn't say it if you never meant it.

I'll miss you, my friend.

Me soundcloud-ing! =D

Yawww guys! what's up??

Just stop by to 'show off' that finally I have the courage to sing (eventho it's just soundcloud --)...

Just a short cover~ ohh well =p

I just hate it IF the next day my friends will be like;

" omgg! I've heard your cover in soundcloud! " OR

" heyy, I didn't know you sing! " OR

" *giving the look* " OR

" soundcloud " OR

" that girl sings in soundcloud...that's sooo wanna be "

HAHA! but I was 'dared' by my friend! I told him to do a cover on Evan Taubenfeld - Evan's way..and the last thing I knew, he really did a cover of it... =/ He's been nagging and waiting for 2 weeks (?) until I got the courage to be an optimist *URGG!!!*

anw, there it is! The end of the cover is a little bit messy..I really have no idea what'd happened o.O

https://soundcloud.com/vanleaster/emeli-sande-read-all-about-it

I hope youuu guys like it? =s

" But, there's a big but " <-- that's what my previous accounting tutor always say.. HAHA!

SOOOOOONNN..I will be doing a complete (or maybe short..depend on where the wind blows =p haha jk! ) cover of...perhaps Avril's or Pink's song with my friend, Aevie! >< she can barely wait too! It's always a matter or time before we can chill out and do a cover.. Exams are real soon too! D= damn annoying!!