She doesn't wanna share. HAHA!

Heyy yaww!
I'm here to tell a funny short story. It happened yesterday (24.5.14)...children's day.

My primary 1 students kept following me everywhere I go. It was tiring having to talk and answer their endless questions. T.T They would hug me with their sweaty...erm...sweat? haha! I was gross.. x( sorry..... There were a lot of my favorite students by my side at that time...from primary 1 to 4...the classes that I taught.

One of my primary 1 students, Vivi..suddenly she was idk..she just looked at me. Usually, everytime whenever she saw me, she would go " Hi Teacher vanessaaaaaaaa..". She did at first, and then she just looked at me. face frowned.

After that, the students had what's it called. The one that you'll jump in a sack. Jump. Jump. Jump! Vivi and her friends came to me. Then, Vivi told me "teacher, why many students like you? I don't like it. I cried just now." hahahaha!

I was like, "what the heckk..." I feel annoyed, but at the same time, I feel bad. ahhaha! Kids.. =) I was like that too when I was a kid. She reminded me of me.

Okey...after that...wait, this part isn't funny anymore..lol..
I was helping and watching and standing for 3 hours..and then, I got hungry. Plus, I wasn't me who'll be in charged. So, I'd taken a break with my friends. After that, I went up to the office to have some air-cond. ahah!

While I was resting, rather than looking at shits, I marked my students' books. I was then about 30minutes only I've rested.

Then, this teacher..she came up and said," vanessa, why aren't you helping? Why weren't you down there? Stop marking, you weren't suppose of mark the books. Today, we have to be down there (to the field)". I was like.....If only you fuckin' knew. Rather than arguing with her, I just nodded my head and went out. Don't wanna say much, since I'm gonna quit reaaaaaaaal soon! x'D

It was fun working there, but you'll get bullied sometimes cause you're new. So, yeah.... =)
I really hope that my students could get real great grades and show her my efforts. In her face!

How?

Yaw guys! Imma is backkk! It's been a while. So, umm..I'm feeling really great right now cause tomorrow is Friday! =D in Brunei, Friday and Sunday are holidays.
Which means, I won't be teaching. Plus, on Saturday, there will be sports day. it'll be fun...I hope x( I'll be darkER T.T shieeeeettttt!!

Recently, I found out there are quite a lot of students that like me and quite a lot of students that dislike me too! HAHAHA!
Some of them said my class is boring, some said it's fun.
Some of my students have really improved a lot! Like one of my students, Michelle is her name. She is in Primary/Year 3, but she doesn't know how to spell Primary/Year 1 words..like 'food', 'month' and so much more. Now, she would come to the front with 2 of her other friends (they are slow learner as well). I'm quite happy with it cause I knew instantly that I've done the right thing. Whenever Michelle sees me, she would hug me. I don't really like it tho..haha! but I appreciate it  A LOT! =D
Some of them would always help me..they are like my allies. HAHAHA! 'My allies' really helped me a lot! LOVE THEM!

All the Primary/ year 1 students are about 6-7 years old. Primary/Year 3 --> 8-9 years old. Primary/Year 4 --> 9-10 years old.
Yeah, I'm teaching these classes.

There's this girl, Clare, Primary/ Year 1, she called me 'mama' hahaha! She would ask, "can I follow you?" or "can I touch your hand?" Sooo innocent and cute, but I don't really like it too. I allowed her to do so tho, IF she's not naughty..hmm.. --"

Vivi, Primary/ Year 1 too, she would always tell me she likes me and she would tell me that I'm pretty and all.. LOL!

Arsh, my favorite boy! Primary/ Year 1, he sang for me when I asked him too. Thinking of it, still makes me happy! haha! x'3

Waie, my favorite student, he is kinda ADHD-ish..for me tho. You can't scold him, cause he won't listen, but if you talk to him nicely, he'll do what you said. He's really cute. He's like a mummy boy and keep needing attentions. He'll do weird noises when he's bored or when he need your attentions. All his friends love him, but he's reaaaaaaaaaaaaally pain in the neck.. I still love him a lot.

Stepy, from primary/Year 4, she gave me this...the first or second month I worked as a teacher.

Inside, it was written "Teacher Vanisah, you are a great teacher!" LOL...she spelled my name wrongly...as how I pronounced her name wrongly HAHA! we're even!

I think that's all. The bad one, which sometimes really wanna make me fcking curse or strangle them, I don't feel like telling at all. Or maybe I will, but next time.

BYES! =D HAVE FUN READING!

Where you're at.

I'm sad to know the truth, but funny, I couldn't even shed a tear.
It has dried up years ago.

It hurts deeply at first, but it doesn't anymore. Well, maybe for now.

Maybe it'll hurt like hell again when He allows us to meet.
And I am ready.
I am ready to show you that I've moved on.

Dying for your love would never benefit anyone or anything.
Loss.
I've lost you.

All those dreams I dreamt of you and I against the world,
Has shattered before me.
They're just a dream. It doesn't have to come true,
Cause I'm giving up on you,
Cause you've let me go.

Now you've dreamt to be with her forever.
Now I'm dreaming to start anew, but can I?
Am I daring enough?
Have I built enough walls, to surround me securely?
Are those walls strong and tall enough to rely on?

Four years, I've waited.
If this is the final answer, I'll accept without asking 'why'.
Four years, I'm dying to ask why are where we are.
I'm dying to ask why you'd said 'I love you' at the first place.
I'm dying to ask you why you'd said 'I love you' every night.
I'm dying to ask you why you'd left me all of a sudden.
I'm dying to ask you if we could be how we used to be.
I'm dying to ask you if you ever missed me.
I'm dying to ask you if you ever meant what you've said.

I'm dying to ask you...... "Will you promise me to be happy?"
" I can't cry for you anymore. They've dried up years ago"
" I've moved on. Won't miss you at all"

"I'm happy where I'm at now. How about you?"
"I'm glad you did what you do. You're setting me free"

I'm glad you're happy now

Hey guys! hahahah! I'm broken hearted now.. ='p

I feel like crying, but I can't. Hahaha!

My godddd..... I've been waiting for him for 5 years now? and all I got is this?

Few days ago, I met him in a mall in my town. He was with a girl. She was like grabbing him for a while. They were walking to Mum's bakery haha! I was trying to put all those negative stuff out of my mind..like she's his.

And I guess, those negative stuff is true. =)

I hurts.

Then, I was browsing through my facebook inbox and saw this beautiful picture of him and a girl. I was beautiful, but it hurts me.

What if I.....

What if....

Hahahaaha! my godddd.....

I'm glad he found the one. I bet she's his everything.... =')

I hope they'll last forever! =D

It hurts.

Back fresh

Oh hiiii!
Uh....I never expect my cousin(s) would read this blog. So, Andy, if you're reading.........................STALKER! =p hahaha!

Just wanna update some..y'know...random shits kekeke!
Oh, about school stuff!

ok, it's been almost 2 months I've been teaching and so far so good, cause we get to understand each other better. I mean 'we' as the students and I. But those pain-in-the-ass students, what did I do when they're being such pain-in-the-ass? IGNORE THEM! =8)
I know, maybe it's a bad idea, but I hate kids and I also hate to persuade people (including kids...derrrr). So, I'll just let them rot! muahahaha! Jokinggggggggggg x'p

So...and erm...I don't think I'm gonna make a vid or a blog to share my poems ahahh! Idk why...

And I'll be going to uni read soooooooon..it'll start in August? I haven't have my interview yet..I think for those who applied need an interview. =S


I think that's all! Chaw and take care! =)

Me again.

Hi guys.. I'm sooo sorry for not updating my shits. Internet sucks here. Like seriously. And I'm super busy with my works. Not school works, but school works =p hahah! heyyy, I'm a teacher! =) An teacher to my previous school, Chung Hwa.

I have a lot to say..but I'm scared that the connection will go off all of a sudden (what the hell?)..okey, I'll type real quick. =S

The first day WAS HELL! Everything or everyone was hell!!! hahaha! After having a beautiful break for 3 months, suddenly the principal called me. And I agreed and accept the job. Little did I know, it wasn't as I'd expected.

Some students are really adorable. Some are okey. Some are quiet. Some are reaaaaaaaaally talkative. Some are understanding. Some are crying babies. Some do not have fucking manners. hahaha! Ughh..Do you wanna know what's the hardest?
Ans: unable to swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T hahahah!

I have to act mature and all.. haha! No fun, no fun at all. I'm telling you.

The teachers there...they're very helpful and kind (I think) haha!
Gossips are something we can't avoid.

huh..I wanna share my experience to you guys. But thinking about it, already makes me tired --" fuck it all. hahaha!

Yes, I kinda regret accepting this job, but it actually gets better every week (I think). No matter how much I hate it, but I will promise you to teach them, to share my knowledge to them with all my heart.

Why? Because they will...no, they trust you and your teaching. And my teaching will help them and their future.

I think that's all. Will update you guys soon. Love you! =')

They talk about SMART; discriminate the LAST

Hi guys! Whatsup? =) Sorry for not updating(?) Hoho! Btw, I've gotten my 'A' level result and it didn't come well. It wasn't what I've expected...I have higher expectations, my tutors too, they have high(er) expectations from me, but I guess I'd let them down ='(

My mum didn't really give a crap. She said that what matters is that I have enough credits(points) to enter university. And guess what? ='( I"VE REACHED THAT STANDARD! =D So yayyy!! I'm going to uni! x')

I kindaaaaaaa aimed to go for scholarship, but....hmmm...nevermind. We can get scholarships even when we're in uni.......if we get GREAT grades!
It's embarrassed for me to say this but, I got a fcukinnn' 'e' for my GP! I was..no, I'm shocked and my tutor too. I normally get a 'b' for my GP(General Paper) and lowest will be 'c' (but I guess not anymore) F it!

We have this so-called Paper2..data analysis..it's bout surgeon and blah3. In my country, surgeon means the person who does the surgery, but in ermm...other places, surgeon means the operation room (am I right?). I knew that AFTER my exam!  damn...

So yeah, because I'm not the brighty brightie bright so bright student, can you believe me? it's like all damn tutors just ignore my existence.. Haha! maybe not just me... I'm better than the good ones. But I'm thinking..what about the ones who are worse than my result?

In brunei, it's like the opposite of the western country. Here, we only have money, position and education level to gain respect. No celebrities, no writer, no damn actors can make you famous and gain respect from others. THAT IS SAD, YES I KNOW.

This is so unfair. but what can I do? I mean what can we do to change that since it's like a culture already. Pathetic.

Can you imagine, there's this tutor who I hated and hate so much since the first day I step my awesome leg into my school. He never make eye contact with, never talk to me, never face me...TOTALLY ignoring me. While he went all flirty shitty with my friends (guys and girls), make lame jokes and all. ughh.. And when he was briefing about scholarship shits (cause I was there..so I assume that he assumed that I'm smart and 'useful' to my country), for the very first time, he TALK to me...look at me and talk..F-ing explaining shits. But today, haha! shits happen again. It's as if......shit. The SAME all him is treating me like I'm some kind of species like him. F U.

He even embarrassed my bestie cause she's isn't what bruneians call "smart"...the stuff he told the whole class (indirectly) was suppose to be a secret, but he asked her aloud in class. Me and her, the subjects we take aren't similar at all. I'm in the science stream and she's in the business stream. She was soooo embarrassed about what that tutor have done to her. She texted me about it and I have to calm her down. Damn that tutor.

But I'll look whatever happen in a positive way, to motivate myself to be a better person. My dream is to be rich! Haha! Cause I'm tired of having to worry how much I've spent of stuff. I wanna build a house for my family, a house with large compound, without having to worry does it worth or not. I wanna donate my money to those who needs the most of the most.

Oh goshh..I think I've said too much nonsense here. Haha! Thankyou for reading these craps?