Getting a life

Hiiii!!! awww!! It's been a while, really. And now I'm hungry...I know I'm random, but I'm me! I'm hyper now though~ wewewe~ I'm trying to make my blog interesting, cause I'm not an interesting person =/ so yeahh...I just want you guys to enjoy! ='/ and at least I'm getting a life here, rather than eat and sleep and chat and laugh and no life.... -.-"
Now I'm playing my facebook. Oh, add me up! Van Leaster =)
I'm chatting with my friends on facebook chat. and after that, I will have to do a birthday card for my friend whom I grew up with x) He's like a bratherrr to me! His birthday is tomorrow, but yeahh..this is like a last minute 'project'.. hopefully everything will be fine..because I went to the printing shop just now and the worker printed wrongly -.-" so i have to change plan! Plan B!!
I dont know if he'll like it or not..I just hope he appreciates it! He likes Lady Gaga and I'm doing something in his birthday card related to Lady Gaga =D
I guess that's all for my updates..see...I'm a boring person! But I'm born this way! hahahaah! ya right >.>

Hiii! Suup?

Hiiii everyone? what's up? I'm really sorry that i don't have the time to update my blog. And I really hope some of you guys could actually leave some comments to motivate me to update my blog. Yes, maybe it's boring =/ but this is the only way I can express myself instead of updating statuses in facebook, which I think is quite childish or something....


I'm gonna have my progress tests soon...real soon. And I'm in college now. I never really have the time to do whatever I want. Plus, the connection here sucks...especially Sunday. hmmm.....Wish me luck! =D


So, we'll meet again(?) soon(?) I definitely will update my blog whenever I'm free! So, byes and take care everyone!!

Arms (II): the waiting

" Mum! I'm home!", Freya said with a force smile...
"omg! Are you alright?! Where that hell have you been?!"
"Mum.....I will officially break up with James tomorrow...I will meet him"
"No!  No...! It's been 2 months...you've waited for him, wanting to see him! No! I don't want to see you lifeless for another 2 months! Please!"
"I'ts okey mum...I will be fine. Really...you have to trust me..."


Mrs. Truburn just walked away without saying a word....
"If that will make you happy, if that can change you to who you were 2 years ago...fine" she said, finally..
_______________________________________________________________


Why is the wind so cold? Why is the sky so dark like 2 days ago, the day she met the stranger? Why is the trees at the park looked sad? 
Clutching her hands together, feeling nervous. What if it turned out the damn way she never wanted..that is...she can't say the word 'goodbye'...."he'll be coming soon......in a few minutes...he's never late.."


" Heyy, James..."she shouted.
" Ermm...heyy...!" he shouted back from a distance, walking cooly like he always did......'like he always did...'
" ha..ha..it's been a long time...err..how are you?"
'He looked thinner than he was 2 months back then', she thought..
" Just tell me what you want?"
Sadness suddenly filled her... 'he'd changed...a lot'
"I err....I just wanna know if you're err...okey.. and i guess you are now"
....James just remained silent....
"and I.....I wanna break up with you. I mean officially break up with you. I can't stand any longer, waiting for you...thinking of you...I just can't!!" And tears began to flow from he 'beautiful eyes'...that's what he used to call..
"ohh..I see. I'm okey with that. So that's all?"
"that's it? you're....not even regret for what you've done to me?"
"no...not at all. I'm happy with my life now. I'm happy with her"
"I'm glad to know that", Freya said with a smile, but tears kept flowing down.
"If that's all...I have to leave now. She's waiting for me...I'm sorry i can't spent a longer time with you.."
"ohh..so, this is the end. Goodbye.."


Before James could turn away, Freya turned away first.. " I'm not gonna see him leave like I did...I gonna walk my own way", she thought.


Suddenly, someone grabbed her by her arms..
" Please....don't leave me.....I'm not fine! I'm sorry! I just couldn't face you anymore. I've been waiting for your call or whatever. Yes, I'm waiting. I'm happy that I have the chance to see you today! I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I never mean to. I do this because I love you.."


Frozen, she turned around to face James who is crying like he did last year when she got into a car accident. His tears, his voice, his eyes were unforgettable.. they're just so perfect. Perhaps those were the reasons she fell for him....


"Please don't do this. Everyday I've cried for you. and I'm trying to move on starting today. I'm trying to be strong...Please let me go like I am right now. I don't trust you anymore. I know what you just said are lies, aren't they?? Please tell me they are...", trying to stay tough, but she lost.."Let me go....."


After her last words, he let go of her hands and Freya ran away, leaving him seeing her running away....she'll be gone.....and he'll be gone too...........


"I'm sorry....please wait for me....", James whispered.

Arms(I) : the picture

Everyday felt dark and doom. The skies were crying. The wind blew softly, perfectly and silently...
The picture that was taken 2 years ago was held warm in her hands. She sat outside on the bottom of the dirty stairs of an old building, with holes at the roof, but enough to keep her sheltered. Feeling lost, cause was betrayed by her boyfriend, James.. She knew that she can't take it anymore, but she loved him..even though what he'd done to her..


Suddenly, a stranger with a dark jacket passed by her, with is face totally covered by his black cap's shadow. His right leg kicked her hands and the picture flew away...onto the wet, thick pool of water.. Then, she chased the picture like something that is really valuable..which it was...once....


" I'm sorry..I never meant to..."
"ohh..It's okey..really..." trying to dry off the water with her dark blue t-shirt with the word 'smile'
"heyy, c'mon, smile...it's even written in your shirt.."


Without saying a word, she just walked away...


"heyy.. what's your name?" she asked..
" I will tell you when you're able to smile...and if we meet again..."
"how am I gonna recognise you? you're covered in black.."
" No worries..you will...byes Freya..."


She was indeed shocked to hear what he called her. Yes, that's her name. Freya. The stranger's now totally gone into the darkness. Gone...gone....


"I have to move on..it's been 2 months. James never tried to make things better. He never tried to talk about it. Never tried to apologise, saying that he'd regret everything he'd done...". Warm tears started to flow down her soft wet cheek. "I have to move on..."
She then torn the picture into pieces and threw them in the air. Let the cold wind blew them away..far, far away from her soul.....

L6-9, China Town

Hiiiii!! I just wanna share a funnayhh storayh of what had happened just now. I'm quite sleepy right now, and do forgive me if there's typo or bad English..


It's funny where MOST(not all) of the non-muslims always grouping in the registration class, L6-9 during our 25mins break and 1 hour lunch break. It's comfortable to be there. No, we're not racist, but it's just comfortable to be with our own kind, plus most of them are my old classmates from elementary school..


10 girls and 2 boys~


Angie, Sera, Vivien, LinLing, MayLing, Van(me), Yihan, Adrian, Fook and perhaps Rab, Shereen and MeeLi..
I can be myself when I'm with them! =) that's why I love it!


Just now, during luch break, my friends, Jun and Halim went into the classroom (L6-9)..I have no freaking idea why, then suddenly Halim said 'woahh..china town!'


and yeahh, everyone laughed. Except Sera...i guess.. cause she didn't really understand what he meant. She asked me, "why? are we that noisy?" "no! it's because here, almost all of us are non-muslims..."


And after a few minutes later, a group of guys..their 'gang' (where 90% or them are slightly bald, because of a stupid agreement) came in and asked "who's the boss?" but of course it's just a joke! AHHA! No one answered them.. and then Vivien said "what's up? wanna find faults?" "woahh...owh, so you're the boss?"*pretending to pull up the sleeves.
"no..that one...that one's the boss"*pointing to Fook who's playing with his phone LIKE A BOSS..and since he's the tallest as well.
................................................
"huhh? why me? I mean what happened?" poor Fook...Too focus to 'be a boss'


After that, the silly guys went out and purposely leave one of them in our grouping area, and they pushed the door close, so that he won't be able to go out. HAHA!!
"you have to ask permission from 'the boss' then, you're allowed to get out"
and he put his hands together, acting as if he's a humble-ish victim.. hahahaha!!
I almost burst at that time HAHA!!


So, tadaaaa!! that's all im gonna share..hehe! I apologise if there's mistakes...wait, i bet there are mistakes...

Coming back home

Hi guys!! =)
Now, I'm watching videos of 'soldiers coming back home'. it's really sad to see how their children missed them so much, yet I'm happy to see how they came home safely and surprised their love ones. I admit, I'd broken down watching that video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkGzqpGx1KU

"I miss you, dad"
"I miss you too"

I'm feeling really grateful that I do not have to live the life where my love ones will be coming home or not. I really am...

For those who've father worked as a soldier at war,
Please be strong and,
Have faith in God.
You may pretend that you do not care.
You may hide your feelings,
You may hide your tears,
You may not say the words you've dying to,
But your father knows what's going on inside you..

I understand the time when you're confuse,
Weather to cry or remain tough on the outside.

But remember,
If he doesn't walk into the house's door ,
His home is already in your heart.
He saved lives,
He saved the country,
And he will always be remembered...

=) I'm saying what I'm really feeling inside. And I mean every words that I've said..

I've tried

hi!! =)
so yeahh, I was really buzy since Thursday.. my schedule was really full...let's see...
Thursday; played badminton with my friends at school till 4pm
Friday; Gonna go to the public library to help my friend who's gonna sit for his 'o' level. but cancelled
Saturday(which is today); assist a primary.6 boy in maths who is gonna sit for his PSR this year.
Sunday; gonna go to the Jerudong Beach to have the cleaning campaign.. *hope I won't be dark!!


and yeahh, all those 'tight' schedule just can't make me feel better. I've tried to talk to him, but he treated me coldly...dammit! I'm mad at,I don't know either myself or him.. I'm feeling lost now. I really am. I don't know what's right or wrong now.. but I'm too tired to play that game.. too tired to think what's gonna happen tomorrow..too tired to find the reasons...too tired to breathe...


Perhaps some of you understand what I'm feeling right now. My whole body feels heavy.....


My problems with my friends;
-some of them talk shits behind my back.. backstabbed me..created 'cool' twisted stories behind me..


My problmes with my besties;
- I have 4 besties, and 1 or 2 of them changed a lot. when she sees me, she'll pretend that she didn't, so I have to put a fake smile and cheerful voice saying 'hi!!'


My problems with him;
- urgg..i don't know what to say..i don't know what I've done to make him so upset...


Yes, I am different..maybe that's the reason why I a lot of people 'hated' and ignored me...So, I'm the bad person huh?? Maybe I deserved it....
So, I guess I am.................I don't give a damn anymore. All I want to do is, heal my feelings and moods....