Giving up for me

I have this sorta friend who has a crush on me. I was cold, but he was really funny and I fell for him. He was still in a relationship at that time, but he'd ended his relationship. He's a lady killer and a playboy. I like him, but I'm afraid that I'll end up like his ex-es where one of them is my friend.

My cousin told me that he asked for my phone number and my cousin gave it to him.

Few months ago, I called my friend's name 'Ling', but then he answered. Ling is also darling for short. Then, I looked at him, feeling annoyed, but he gave his really cute smile. Oh god.

Another day, while he was having a rest with my cousin after a sport that they'd played, he sang 'Someone like you' by Adele when I was there. Then, out of the blue, he asked me whether he's hot or not. I said no. Then, he kinda begged me to tell the truth. I still say no. Then, my cousin called him gay. After that he acted all gay and my cousin was afraid of him. HAHA! I then asked, what's wrong with him? My cousin told me that he likes me. 

I don't know how, I just fell for him. Damn.

I caught him looking at me tho from a distance, cause I kept looking and finding him in the crowd.

But I'm gonna let this feeling go away. He didn't text me or whatever. Duhh..haha! so whatever.

It's all for my own good and I don't want my friendship with my friend to end.

I'll be sad, but yeah.

Crawling into my dream

It was a tiring day, standing under the burning sun. So when I when home, I did whatever i will normally do. Eat and sleep. As I was taking a nap/sleep for 2 hours, suddenly I dreamt about him. Yes, I wish and not wish, to see or meet him today. I really wanted to, but I'm scared. I really was.

I dreamt that my and my friend, S were in a shop when we met him there. To my surprise, he actually worked there, but I thought he was suppose to be at his school which is one hour away from town.
In the reality, he told me that he'll graduate this year. He decided to continue for a degree though.
So, the me in my dream was like what is he doing here? And yada yada yada, I've forgotten some, cause I don't know how I actually have the guts to talk to him. Actually, I was there smiling and blushing, feeling nervous and all, cause he's talking to me, when in reality, he ignored me. Pretending to actually talk to me, but only reply once or twice, and poofff...there he went away.
So, it was kinda amazing when he talked to me (in my dream). He told me that he was actually waiting for me to call him and all. I looked at him. I looked inside him. I feel wanted and love, like I used to when we were ermm...unofficially dating?
I was smiling and my friend, it was her first time seeing the guy that I loved and cared so much. I remembered, she was smiling too. He was behind me, watching us leave. I was seriously happy and blushing all the time.

I remembered, looking back at him and he was doing his work and singing randomly. I remembered I was thinking, " wow, he changed a lot ", cause he looked stronger and hotter HAHA! He was wearing black.

And I don't know how, I just woke up..
It was just a dream.
I didn't get to see him today? But he's in my dream. He USED TO be the person in my dream.

Saved a kitty cat!!

(17/9/13) It was really crowded and we were standing under that damn hot sun which is burning us alive. We were waiting for His Majesty the sultan. While we were waiting (for him in his car to pass by), we talked nonsense. Then, one of my friends told me that there's a kitty in Blah's bag. So, I went there to see, but I 'retreated' cause I saw a teacher who I HATED!! So, when he goes away, that's when I 'conquered' nyahahaha!!

Blah told me that the kitty was really weak and it really was. It was kinda blinded by thick mucus on the eyes and it could hardly see. It just slept. And the most awesome thing is when they tried to feed it with water, using a plastic bag with water in it, made a little hole. Blaah2 tried really hard to let the kitty drink and at last it drinks the water!

That is what I call HUMANITY.

Though Blah didn't plan to keep the kitty, but he carried his bag the wholeeee day, and never let go. I told him that his bag's 'pouch' (there's a pouch in front of his bag) fits the kitty exactly. Then he agreed. I told him that the kitty was meant to fit into it.

I really think it's meant to be.

Blah told us that Blaaaah3 will take the kitty home and I guessed she did already.

I love those guys! =')

Why?

Cause I'm an animal type of person.

I'm not a vegetarian though, but maybe I will try to be one. And my uncle even tried to 'convert' me and my sis to be a vegetarian --"

Everytime we eat meat, he lecture us, saying how disgusting they are or how pitiful the animals are.

I'm a teenager and I need those meat to grow up..if I still could --"

They asked me to move on

Just now (16/9/13), after my school assembly, I went back to my classroom alone and just sit there alone. My friends were somewhere else, which I have no idea where they were. There were my other classmates whom I'm not close with. So yeah, my hand is on the table and my head is on top of my hand. My face was quite sour and confuse looking I guess?

I wasn't thinking anything, or I didn't even know what was I thinking.

I didn't know I actually looked like that, until my friend...a guy who I had a crush on ( and who had a crush on me too) came with his so-called girl friend, but they're not together.
I also didn't realise that I was looking into the empty spaces. Then he said, " why do you look so sad? Cheer up! ". And I was like " what? "

" Cheer up! Don't be upset. Just move on "
" What are you talking about? "
" Just move on, I've been there too. Some people will enter our life, but are never meant to stay. Focus on your studies and forget about him. "
" My god, What the heck you're talking? "
" You're really ego "
" pfffftt.. your girl friend is leaving already! " (she walked out of the door already)
" Nevermind, just let her go, she will come back, eventually "
" So, cheer up and move on ok? ok? ok? "
" Ok ok..so just go "

I don't really believe in his sincerity, cause he's the clown type..
But what he said quite touched my heart.

Yesterday, when I was about to sleep...I can't sleep cause I kept thinking about him. Forgive him or not. Hate him or not.
I did cry a little thinking about those cause I was confused..really confused.

-
Some other days ago (few months ago), my another friend asked my to moved on too. I wasn't really in a good mood at that time. Maybe I was sleepy or something...or sad? I don't know. Suddenly he came to me (he sits behind me), and said, " C'mon, cheer up and move on!  If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you ."
He's a really funny guy, and I never take his words seriously.
But I shall not deny, that he had supported me quite a lot.

In our maths class, he used to say funny cheesy stuff. He used to sing songs to me. He used to help me in maths. We were really closed. We treated each other like brother and sister, since he's really close with my cousins who are like brothers to me.
Then, he has a girl friend, and I kinda put a distance between this friendship cause who knows his girl friend is the jealous type..pffftt..

Thank you guys for supporting me. And I will really try my best to let that jerk go. I will try my best to cheer up too. Thank you =') I love y'all.

I'm back!! Pebo..pebo..pebooooo

YAWWWWWWWWW!! WHATSUPP?? omg! I haven't updated my blog for like 2-3 weeks? Imma really sorry ='( I've been really, reaaaaaaally busy! And yeah, results are out, but not satisfying!!

So yeah, I stopped by to say HI! =)

And booooooooooo...I've just finished my qualifying exams which was 3 weeks, and 27days COUNT DOWN TO MY ACTUAL A LEVEL! D=

Oh gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwdd!! This is soooo stressful! I was cheering like a retarded seal in the school canteen just now cause I've finished my qualifying exams, and then...jeng jeng jeng!
As I said, my results are bad and I'm gonna try really really hard to get at least an A* (maths), an A (GP or Physics or Biology) and 2 B's. I hate C's or D's! I've planned to continue my studies abroad tho =)

Good luck to mehhhh~ hahaha! chaw!

Take care guys!